Monday, September 28, 2009

social matter?

minta maaf (sorry) and terima kasih (thank you)
are simple words that seeeeeeeeeeem so hard to be found nowadays..
people are just so carefree. they don't really care about these manner thingy anymore(or do they ever care?)

i always feel happy whenever i meet people who know how to say 'thank you' and 'sorry'
i don't know why but those simple words can make my day feels so great.

gatau kenapa yah... kenapa jarang banget nemu orang yg ngerti kapan harus bilang makasih ato maaf..
kadang ada yg uda nyerobot antrian ato ngelakuin apa2 (simple aja, nabrak/senggol)
ga blg apa2, malah melotot2 kek mo keluar matanya..
ga ngerti orang2 kek gitu apa punya etika/gak...
minta maaf sm terima kasih ga perlu mandeng org yg harus kita sampein..
mo anak kecil kek, remaja kek, org dewasa kek, siapapun...
dimanapun...
kalau lakuin kesalahan udah sepantesnya blg maaf...
dan kalau dibantu/dikasih sesuatu udah harusnya bilang makasih...
bukannya sangat gampang cuma ngomong gitu aja kok susah...
gausa melotot2 kalo nabrak orang atau bikin orang laen kesel...
juga gausa malu2 kalau harus bilang makasih...
cuma bilang gausa bayar ato kenapa2 kan..
kenapa keknya susaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah banget....

pengen deh ada budaya 'makasih' dan 'maaf'
katanya, ngakunya, orang asia itu ramah2....
tapi kenapa bilang 2 kata itu aja susah banget....
tapi hobinya melotot2 kalo sendirinya bikin kesalahan....
bener2 ga ngerti..
apalagi anak kecil jaman sekarang, bukannya dari kecil diajar etika, tapi orang tuanya sendiri malah ga bisa praktekin etika yg diajarin dari sd(inget tuh pelajaran PPKn)
ga cuma orang dewasa, yang udah tua juga banyak yang ga ngerti etika(klo kasus ini sih keknya anggep aja uda terlanjur kebawa usia)

dan anak2 muda jaman sekarang..
well......
masih banyak yang gatau etika...

kenapa ga mulai untuk belajar bilang makasih sama maaf?
gausah mandeng siapa orang yang kita hadepin..
siapapun orangnya kalau kita salah udah harusnya bilang maaf..
kalau orang laen baek ke kita/kasih sumthing/bantu sumthing udah harusnya bilang makasih....

mau jadi apa kalau ke depannya semua orang gatau etika?
yang simple aja ga bisa dilakuin, cape2 gembar gembor hal2 besar...
hmmmm.....

Saturday, September 12, 2009

sweet childhood.

aku ingin rasanya kembali seperti dulu
saat dimana kepolosan jadi yang paling utama
dimana aku tidak mengerti apa arti sebuah tanggung jawab dan rasa bersalah
dimana aku belum tahu apa itu rasanya sakit yang terlalu sakit sampai rasanya kepala ini mau pecah

waktu kita kecil dimana kita bercanda, berkelahi, bermusuhan
diam-diaman
namun suatu hari kamu membawakanku sebuah, hanya sebuah permen
yang tidak ada harganya dibanding 100 tangkai bunga mawar atau ajakan makan malam di tempat mewah
namun kita bisa kembali bergandeng tangan dan bercengkerama seperti biasa
seperti tidak pernah terjadi apapun
begitu mahalnya arti sebuah kepolosan

yang hilang begitu saja waktu kita beranjak dewasa....

aku kangen ingin jadi seperti anak kecil saja
aku ingin tiap kali mengatasi masalah seperti itu bukanlah akhir dari segalanya
tanpa harus menimang keputusan yang harus kuambil
tanpa harus memikirkan akibat dari apa yang akan kulakukan

aku bosan rasanya terperangkap dalam situasi yang dewasa
dalam perkelahian dan argumentasi yang memakan waktu
kalau ujung-ujungnya hanya berbaikan lagi,
atau mungkin malah bersikap layaknya tidak pernah mengenal satu dan lainnya

tapi semua itu serasa indah waktu kita berbaikan, kan?

kita sempat memaki, berteriak, dan melupakan semua yang nyaman dan indah
namun saat mulai menangis dan terdiam
saat kamu peluk aku dengan hangat, tanpa sepatah kata aku selalu tahu bahwa rasa bersalah terbendung hebatnya di dalam hatimu
saat kudengar tiap detak jantungmu yang selalu terasa hangat
dan seketika aku tahu, semua sudah terlupakan
dan kita kembali bergandengan tangan

namun aku tetap rindu akan kepolosan diwaktu kecil
dimana semua teriakan dan makian tidak perlu dikerahkan
tidak perlu terjadi...

let us be a bluetooth connection.

why don't we turn on our bluetooth and stick together?
don't go too far or else we'll be disconnected

hold each other's hand if necessary
so that we know we won't be seperated and get lost

send me anything you want me to own
share your mind
share your feeling
share anything

my storage will always be available for you
so don't you worry about me getting enough
because i will never

protect our connection with our own "password"
so that nobody will be able to encounter end enter our own realm
so that nobody can destroy our bound
nobody will seperate us and distract us

you have my special place
and you will always be there

so remember to stick with me and don't let your hand slips away from mine
if that happens, i will try to re-connect again and find you no matter how far you go (:

imperfection matter.

i may not be the nicest person you've ever met in your life
i may not be the sweetest girl you've ever found in this universe
i may not be as normal as you expected

i do often scream at you
i do shout at you
i yell at you

i often get angry
and i'm easily upset

i'm selfish and stubborn

i forgive but not forget

you know me exactly yet you're surprised by me sometimes

but you must know i never intentionally hurt you
i just often forget how delicate your feeling is
it's not that i don't love or understand you

i don't have the biggest heart to love you
i don't do sweet things to make you happy
i make you cry all the times
and i sometimes keep silent

i speak as i am
but again, i never meant to hurt your or any others' feeling

well maybe i don't deserve your love
then don't bother to stay
you say i don't change
well can you accept it?
coz if not then you can easily walk away...

i'm tired not because of you
but because of your lackness in certain things that i cannot tolerate sometimes
you expect me to change but you, yourself, never really do it

so tell me is it fair now?
or do you want to continue your silence and keep blaming yourself because i said so and let myself blaming myself because of what you have said?

Friday, September 11, 2009

God knows.

Semua ada waktunya....

Semua indah pada waktunya....
TUHAN tak akan terlambat...
Juga tak akan lebih cepat.....
TUHAN TAHU
Beberapa Hal Yang Dapat Mendorongmu Untuk Tetap Bertahan !

Jika kau merasa lelah dan tak berdaya dari usaha yang sepertinya sia-sia...
Tuhan tahu betapa keras engkau sudah berusaha.

Ketika kau sudah menangis sekian lama dan hatimu masih terasa pedih...
Tuhan sudah menghitung airmatamu.

Jika kau pikir bahwa hidupmu sedang menunggu sesuatu dan waktu serasa berlalu begitu saja... Tuhan sedang menunggu bersama denganmu.

Ketika kau merasa sendirian dan teman-temanmu terlalu sibuk untuk menelepon.
Tuhan selalu berada disampingmu.

Ketika kau pikir bahwa kau sudah mencoba segalanya dan tidak tahu hendak berbuat apa lagi... Tuhan punya jawabannya.

Ketika segala sesuatu menjadi tidak masuk akal dan kau merasa tertekan...
Tuhan dapat menenangkanmu.

Jika tiba-tiba kau dapat melihat jejak-jejak harapan....
Tuhan sedang berbisik kepadamu.

Ketika segala sesuatu berjalan lancar dan kau merasa ingin mengucap syukur..
Tuhan telah memberkatimu.

Ketika sesuatu yang indah terjadi dan kau dipenuhi ketakjuban..
Tuhan telah tersenyum padamu.

Ketika kau memiliki tujuan untuk dipenuhi dan mimpi untuk digenapi...
Tuhan sudah membuka matamu dan memanggilmu dengan namamu.

Ingat bahwa dimanapun kau atau kemanapun kau menghadap...
TUHAN TAHU

"you have a nice hair" LOL.

today i went out with cindy.
i guess i can call today as a skipping class(es) day. (:
i did skip 2 classes..
i didn't feel like going..
i dont know why..
maybe because the sky is cloudy?
haha...
i guess not.
well maybe because im tired with a full and packed week i've been going through.

today we had lunch @lucky plaza, we went to ayam penyet ria
cindy had her ayam penyet with ice milo and lots of sambal haha..
and i had my baso bihun and baso penyet with nasi (i know i eat less lady like)
ahahaha...

but hey im craving for indo foods ):

then cindy was looking for quilt and bed sheet.
so we went to taka, but we didn't find any, everything is so crazy expensive there..
then we went to metro @ paragon and she found what she needs
and i found what i (accidentally feel like i) need.. ahahha...
when she was looking around for "perfect" bedsheet, i was wandering aroung the children's toys area..
when i suddenly saw this amazing astonishing and brilliant toy, called play doh™. haha!!!!!
i saw this ice cream maker play doh and i was like. HELL THIS IS BRILLIANT FOR MY PROJECT STUDIES!!!!!!!!!!!
play doh™ is like an irresistible toy for me..
well maybe i was a crazy little kid who like to imitate everything using clay since i was young.
so whenever i see play doh™ and everything that can make artificial foods i will scream out loud and rush to grab as many as i could and go to cashier. hahahha...
(im sure my mom now knows why i insisted to buy many kinds of kitchen set toys when i was young and i insisted i want to boil water use real fire and it made her go crazy. hahaha)
i bought 2 types of play doh™.
the one is magic swirl ice cream shoppe™.
http://www.hasbro.com/playdoh/en_US/shop/details.cfm?guid=93FF4361-6D40-1014-8BF0-9EFBF894F9D4&product_id=22175&src=endeca
and the other one is the confetti maker™.
http://www.hasbro.com/playdoh/en_US/shop/details.cfm?guid=934F3FC8-6D40-1014-8BF0-9EFBF894F9D4&product_id=19381&src=endeca
im so excited rite now really want to finish my meal and take a bath then experiment with my-so called-new toy.
well as "grown up", i feel like we will always have a child side in every of us...
we will always craze over "new toy" whatever it is. either our fave collection or anything. really, it could be anything! (:
i remember the first time my mom bought me play doh™ was because i insisted that i want that thing on TV.
that time ads showed the burger builder one. and i was like WHOAAAAAA.....
hahahha...
in the end my mom bought me one and i knew that it was quite expensive.
then i played with it cheerfully until i got bored. hahahahahha....
and if im not wrong, i ended up mixed all the doh together and it created yucky color and i ignored it, i came back to my old toys. well... kids are kids. HAHAH..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
well then we did everything we want then we went home.
after i went home, i went out again to buy mineral water and meal for my dinner.
on the way back when i was walking towards home, a man passed by.
from quite a distance he smiled at me, and when he was getting near, his smile was getting wider and wider and his eyes (i felt like...) was going to eat me alive.. (LOL)
then when i tried not to look at him, he then shouted, "YOU HAVE A NICE HAIR"
i was like what the..........................................
a woman who happened to be walking next to me look at me and she looked disgust by what the man shouted.
i ignored the man and kept walking...

on the way, i was wondering what the hell was he after.
i came up with few possibilities...
1. he's originally nuts.
2. he's trying to get my attention.
3. it's simply just a compliment.

okay i will just stick with reason no. 3
hahaha!!!!!!!!!!

but it was so hillarious that he suddenly screamed the words out loud.

well.. sometimes life needs a joke rite?
then it will be my joke for today (:

old posts(the rest)

okay, i begin to feel tired copying and pasting all old posts here..
i better just post the link here.. (:


iknowitsnotwrongbutistillfeelthatpeopledonttrustmeinwhatimgoingtodobutthatsokay.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=169700836144

child's innocence.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=169725801144

pour mon homme aimé
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=172443496144

when words kill-both you and other people.
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=172484676144

untitled VII

Wednesday, August 5, 2009 at 12:54am

ku katakan dengan indah
dengan terluka hatiku hampa
sepertinya luka..

but you never broke my heart
i break mine by myself
it's not your fault
it's just that i want it that way, unexpectedly

let's pretend that i am okay
let's pretend everything is alrightbecause good moment is slipping away
and i don't want to miss any chance to share it with you

i am okay, at least i pretend to be
don't worry bout me
but worry about us
but then don't be so worry because i will fix everything
i will try my best to bear everything
to bear this pain by myself

i owe you too much
and i don't want to bother you anymore
i guess i do

time healed me once
and i am sure it works again right now

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=153294096144

020809

Sunday, August 2, 2009 at 6:42pm

i wish i could make the L word into something i can let you touch and feel it
i wish i could let my feeling show as bright as your most favourite movie
i wish i could define your every touch into a word or a thing
i wish i could touch every memories i spend with you so i won't feel so alone
i wish i could rewind every sweet words you ever said to me
i wish i could bring you along with me in every step i take
i wish i could translate every feeling i feel and every single word in my mind into something you can feel

why do i have to go when i love you so much?
why can't i stay for a while?
why can't i have more time to spend with you?
why can't a year turns into hour?
why can't i scream out loud what i feel for you?
why do i doubt my own feeling in this right moment?

i was so sure that i love you more than myself
now i am not sure if i do

one thing i am sure is i know i don't want to lose you
no matter what it takes to keep you safe with me i'd do.
you know i'd do.
and i did.

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=152088871144

260709

Monday, July 27, 2009 at 4:13pm

I've been searching for someone who can make me feel whole as i am until you found me,
hopeless and bleeding alone
You mended and healed me
You picked every piece of my shattered heart and sealed a hole in my heart
You showed me how to love so patiently
Showered me with trust and honesty
Make me believe there's another chance for a love to grow
I know this love ain't lust
Now I love you too much and i did stupid mistake
I cut the old hole and let it exposed
Thought can make you weak, but instead i'm deeply in pain
I'm selfishly wishing you could hug close and heal me like before
I need you too much, right here and now...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=148999386144

someday.

Monday, June 22, 2009 at 12:09am

sometimes i wish i could become someone from the past
someone i knew who willingly gave all her heart without asking too much
who was able to love unconditionally

someone, who were not afraid to be broken hearted for loving someone so passionately
someone, who did all she could to make her lover happy

but i am not her anymore
and i cannot do what she could do
though i see her everyday as a reflection
she has the same smile, same happiness

now im trying to mend the pieces of my braveness
so perhaps i could be as strong as i used to before
though the scar from the past left unstitched
though i might get salt sprinkled on it again someday
i hope i would be strong enough to bear it............

but at least i would not feel so wrong again
i would not feel so guilty again,
someday..

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=133706551144

i cant say out loud but--.

Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 12:51am

there is something i can't do
something that im too afraid to
maybe i experienced what it was like to be hurt in the most painful broken hearted
and im too scared to feel the same way again

i let my feeling hides in the darkest corner
i refuse to let it go
fly away like it is supposed to

they say it's about taking chance and pain
i have to start all over again
but the moment i step forward
i stood there and look back
and it's been chasing and haunting me

why can't i just be my old self and make you happy like you've never been before
why can't i turn back the time and meet you in the first place
i want to try to be like i used to be
but im scared

now, will you wait for me?
or will you leave me behind like i used to be treated before?

but wait! wait for melike i worth it
this feeling isn't the same
but i do love you so much
so please, wait....

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=127992956144

i want to but i can't

Friday, June 5, 2009 at 12:22am

i thought about hearing your voice
wish somehow it would calm me down
to soothe the anger in my buried heart

but the anger is unbearable
it's ticking like a time bomb
ready to blow up anytime

i thought i could cry easily after all of these
wish somehow tears could wash away all the pain
to make me forget how it feels to be hurt

but the pain is too much
the tears won't even come
instead it drops on the pain inside my heart and burn with its saltiness

i thought being numb is the final way out
wish i could feel nothing
to ignore everything

but the numb has gone away
leave me hyperventilated
suffocated in pain

i want to run but these feet are too shaky
i want to cry but the tears refuse to come
i want to shout but my voice stuck in my throat
i want to not care about anything but my chest is beating fast in pain
i want to hate myself but i barely know me in this condition
i want to isolate myself but why do i feel lonely
i want to dissapear - don't think i could

i think i just curl up in a ball and try to cry to calm myself
if only i could......

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=127310286144

just when i need you the most - its when youre not here with me.

Thursday, June 4, 2009 at 12:06am

i stare at you from afar
knowing that im far enough from you to see me
i cry silently so nobody will notice me
so you won't notice me

im so scared being myself
and im so scared that im all alone
but i choose not to walk to the crowd
i don't want to be seen
not in my weakest shape

you never know what i feel or what i go through
i don't tell and you never ask
i desperately need you and need a comfort touch
i need to be heard
i want to be accompanied

im getting to hate this isolation
but i dont want to be sorrounded by people
i just want to be with you

but i guess im too far from it
im way too isolated from you to notice me

but it's okayi guess im gonna be just fine by myself
i guess im trying to be strong though im not
i guess i can just crawling to get the air to breathe
i guess i can curl up in a ball then cry out loud
i guess i will survive
i guess this is not so painful as it is

but i guess im wrong....
im wrong...

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=126937446144

Thursday, September 10, 2009

untitled VI

Thursday, May 28, 2009 at 3:58pm


i don't come with best free features, such as: patience, kindness, lovable, and understandable heart and mind, etc.

but you know i have tried my best

but don't you ever push me to the limit

i told you once, i warned you twice
three times and look who's the fool now?

let's play it fair.you and your own rules.
me with mine.

i won't step into your game again and so be it.
are you happy now?

close to you..

Friday, March 20, 2009 at 10:45pm

mind to mind now..
im ready to be blown away.

heart to heart now..
im so ready for excitement

close, we are so close together.......
im ready to feel butterflies in my stomach

when you hold me close
i feel so comfortable

when you hug me tight
i feel warm and safe

when you touch me
i feel how you love me so much

when you hold my hand
i know you're deeply in love with me.....

you know i'd die just to hold you, stay with you.............

you are my sky who beautify my world
you are my sun who keeps me warm
you are the morning dew that i always love
and you are my brightest star in the sky....

i learned...

Saturday, March 14, 2009 at 12:18pm

i learned that loving someone could be painful.
i learned that loving someone need no reason.
i learned that im strong enough to wipe my own tears.
i learned that with cry will not change a thing but will make my heart feels better
i learned that i will always be the villain in our relationship no matter what i do, and i don't mind being one.
i learned that sadness is not always dealt with tears, but being completely quiet in sadness makes me think of what is happening.
i learned that i can't make someone love me the way i want them to, i can only hope.
i learned that all i have left is a hope.
and i learned that you are my hope...

sendiri aku benci.

Thursday, February 19, 2009 at 7:39pm

Aku lari ke hutan, kemudian menyanyiku
Aku lari ke pantai, kemudian teriakku
Sepi… Sepi dan sendiri aku benci.
Aku ingin bingar. Aku mau di pasar.

Bosan aku dengan penat,
dan enyah saja kau, pekat

Seperti berjelaga jika aku sendiri
Pecahkan saja gelasnya biar ramai
Biar mengaduh sampai gaduh

Ada malaikat menyulam jaring laba-laba belang
di tembok keraton putih
Kenapa tak goyangkan saja loncengnya?
Biar terderah,
Atau aku harus lari ke hutan belok ke pantai?

in a crowded place i feel so lonely
in a noisy place i feel so empty..
what's wrong with me
i run and run and run as fast as i can
my heart beats so fast but i barely feel it
my lung feels so hurt and i can barely breathe
why do i feel so uneasy?
why do i feel so sad about something that i don't even know?
what have i done and what should i do?
i feel like running fast
And hope i could get rid of everything...

dry sobs.

Sunday, February 8, 2009 at 12:05am

you love me.
i love you.
we love each other.
period.

not enough.
it's just not enough.
what i need is what you seem can't give.

i really don't wanna talk bout it anymore.
i am more than enough.
i try so hard to deny my own belief.i
try so hard to hide my feeling.
i try so hard to survive by myself to go through this same old situation.

i don't wanna hurt myself and i don't wanna hurt you in this way.

i'd rather be alone and shed my tears alone.
rather than you're here with me but you say no single word.

i hate a silent you.



but i hate to be like this more.

jatuh cinta.

Friday, February 6, 2009 at 10:34pm


ada seseorang tanya sama gue, kenapa sih namanya "jatuh cinta"
kenapa "jatuh"? jatuh itu kan identik sama sakit..
saat itu juga gue ngerasa..
'iya yah.. bener juga..'
tapi hey...

jatuh cinta ga pernah sakitin seseorang....

jadi menurut gue...

mungkin ga bisa diharafiahin arti 'jatuh' itu bener-bener jatuh.
jatuh itu sesuatu yang ga pernah disengaja, sesuatu yang ga pernah kita mau...
karena kita tau, abis jatuh pasti sakit..
makanya jatuh itu dihindari.
tapi selalu terjadi tanpa sengaja kan?

sama seperti cinta.
cinta ga pernah dipaksa untuk terjadi...
cinta ga pernah kasih kabar kalau dia mau terjadi.
tiba-tiba aja kita ngerasain apa yang namanya cinta.

makanya mungkin dinamain jatuh cinta.
karena ga pernah dipaksa untuk terjadi, semua terjadi begitu aja....

~060209

untitled V

Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 11:07pm

i stare at ceiling
try to be tough
try so hard to make the tear stay
i don't want to burst it out
i don't want to cry
i really don't.

my heart aches
aches like i just knew how being hurt feels like.

you never ask and you'll never know
what happened to me
and what i've gone trough

for sure i suffer
for sure i feel the pain

but you never ask how bad it was?
what did i do?
and why would that happen?

untitled IV

Friday, January 9, 2009 at 7:31pm

seperti orang tolol ku berteriak dalam hati
"what the hell is wrong with him"

kadang ku ingin teriak tepat di depan mukanya
dan seakan ku ingin memukulnya keras

aku bukan gila, aku cuma sangat marah

small thing leads to bigger problem
he might think "hey what's the big deal?"

i tell you now, boy this IS A BIG DEAL

appreciate me and could you just say those f*kin 4 words i'd love love love LOVE! to hear
just once in this 1 year and 7 months relationship...
tell me
just once..............
kalau kamu juga kangen aku

i need not to beg, do i?
well, whatever
do whatever you want
and i'll be the fool til the end

whatever!

untitled III

Friday, January 9, 2009 at 5:46pm

you ignore me once
i am mad like hell
you try to calm me down and hold me close say how sorry you are

you ignore me twice
i begin to think, is this right?
and you make a promise that you will never do the same again

you ignore me again
i keep silence
...and you never realize how it hurts

you said how you feel lost without me
i told you how i feel the same

you said how you feel lost without me til it hurts
i told you i am here and i will never ever leave you and i feel the same way too

i told you i miss you
you keep silence

i told you i miss you so much
you said you're here in my heart

i told you i miss you til i cry
you said you don't know what to do
...and you never realize how it hurts

you made a mistake and say sorry
i forgive you

you made a mistake and not realize it
i still forgive you

you made a mistake, the same mistake and still not realize it
i forgive you no matter what.
..and you never realize how it hurts

i told you don't take me for granted
not because i'm easy, but because i love you this much

i told you it's just me, it's so easy to tell me how you miss me too
how come it seems so hard for you?

i ask you don't do the same mistake
but you do it over and over again

maybe i'm just a girl
or maybe i'm just a fool

maybe you're just a boy
or maybe you're the fool

if only you could feel the same way that i feel...
then i surely am gonna be the most happiest person on earth...
or not?

if i were a boy~beyonce

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 at 2:25pm

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
and I'd never get confronted for it cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understandand you don't understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to herYou don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy


the way you look at me won't be the same if once you try to understand how is it like to be methe way you touch me won't be the same if you ever tried to be me
the way you listen to me won't be the same if you ever tried to talk to someone like you
the way you spend your time won't be the same if you once felt how is it like being abandoned and feel alone...
you don't understand and you will never do
because you never try to understand and learn
it will always be me, the one who try to understand and accept you for who you are
coz it's true that YOU'RE JUST A BOY...

untitled II.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 at 11:38pm

i said, "dont make me sad"you keep silent

and i walk away

you never try to run after me

and i wonder, "are you worthy enough for me to fight for?"

untitled.

Sunday, November 2, 2008 at 11:44pm

i crawled to the darkest corner
i hid there so you can't see the tears fall when everytime i close my eyes
my question is, "will you ever find me? or should i hide here forever without you knowing that the pain is growing stronger?"
this is what i called a coincidence!
November 4, 2008 ·

huahuahua…
gue ga gitu believe klo suatu coincidence itu terjadi..
karena usually coincidence itu cuma evokes 2 people…
or 2 things..
tapi kali ini…
hari ini….
suatu kebetulan….
3 friends of mine, ketiga2nya laptopnya crash in the same day!
orang pertama dengan canggihnya subuh2 laptopnya tiba2 mati…
laptopnya “ngambek” gamau start up masuk windows..
heuhueehuueueheuheue……
1 laptop uda masuk “rumah sakit”
kedua…
roomate gue..
wkwkwkkwkw..
tadi pagi-pagi sekitar jam 9..
si nona laptop (org super “sibuk” yang cinta mati dengan laptopnya) ini nyalain laptop biasa klo baru bangun..
tiba2 BLEPP…
matiiiii laptopnya..
hauhauuahua…
masuk lah korban kedua ke “rumah sakit”
katanya sih motherboardnya rusak..
huahuha…
trs baru aja few mins back…
satu lagi orang tiba2 telpon gue..
dengan desponya ngmg “laptop gue crash meL…”
yaoloh……
gue ketawa aja dengan polosnya..
hauhauha…
gue kasi tau klo dia orang ketiga yang laptopnya crash…
ive no idea though whats wrong with today…
well one thing that i hope is, hope my laptop will be okay…
hahahahhaha..
kalo besok laptop gue sampe rusak…
gue bakal bikin nasi tumpeng lengkap pake 7 rupa lauK!
hahaha…
*tok tok tok* (ketok meja 3x jangan ampe rusak)
deket musim assessment gini..
sangat ga lucu klo rusak…
and i feel sorry for 3 of em..hope their laptop will be okay soon..
well, i must continue with my project again!
you devastate me.
November 3, 2008 ·

i thought for a second, “this is silly and its not supposed to be like this”
simple thing leads to bigger and bigger problem
i wonder what have i done or what i have not done that makes everything become like this
i ask myself, how could i be so blind
i didn’t see it coming
i didn’t see it occuring
and now i am devastated
i am broken
i am shattered
moreover i am spoiled
spoiled just like i let the glass falls and breaks into pieces
that’s just how my heart feels like right now
i am in pain and i am not okay
why should have you done this to me
i purposely admitted that i was wrong
i hope somehow you realize that you are hurting me so much
but i guess you don’t know and you never will
i feel this pain alone and i will enjoy it alone too
i crawled to the darkest corner so you won’t see me
i hid there so you won’t see my tears fall everytime i close my eyes
my question is, will you ever find me?
or should i hide here forever without you knowing that the pain is growing stronger?
hal bodoh untuk ke sekian kalinya.. tp x ini ajak2 teman :) (whattt a smart me!)
October 19, 2008 ·

kemaren..
iya kemaren..
18.10.08
gue sama yuan siang2 karokean..
pulang karoke, entah kenapa jiwa keolahragaan gue membara…
gue pengen BERENANG!
ya, berenang..
hehe…
abis gue bujuk2 dengan segala rayuan pulau kelapa dan tatapan buaya darat..
akhirnya yuan mau..
so kita pulang dulu n siap2in segalanya…
abis itu…
jangan salah..
disini kolam renang tidaklah seindah yang kauw bayangkan…
SUSAH!
cari kolam renang seperti layaknya di tangerang itu susah….
disini tuh kolam renang emg murah masuknya..
tp karena itu, jadinya menjijikan..
penuh dengan umat manusia…
(jangan pikir karena singapur, so smuanya bersih bla bla bla…)
untuk mencari kolam renang terdekat, kita mengandalkan the power of internet!
jadi kita buka internet, cari forum dsb ttg public swimming complex(namanya gini, aneh emg… swimming pool aja gampang kok..)
abis itu nemu 1 forum ada list kolam2 renang di beberapa daerah.
namun sayang saat gue membaca 1 thread, tepatnya sih 1 comment reply..
disebutkan disitu bahwa sejatinya, tak ada kolam renang di singapur yg benar2 bersih, dan ditegaskan disitu klo ada dia punya uncle, berenang di tempat X(lupa namanya..) abis itu si unclenya itu lagi berenang, tiba2 liat sesuatu yg mengambang..
yang jelas pasti adalah ***!
yaaa… EEX! haha..
eex ngambang..
idihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
seketika duniaku runtuh..(HALAH)
seketikaaaa sajaa niat membara semangat jiwa keolahragaanku untuk berenang musnahlahh sudah!
huahahuhaua…
lalu berenang dibatalkan…
saat itu gue berpikir mau jogging..
tp jogging, hmmmm….
pertama.. sepatu gue yg running shoes itu sudah direlakan, karena nyokap gue seenaknya tanpa bilang2 kasihin sepatu itu untuk sumbangan alesannya karena ga pernah liat gue pake lagi
(yaiyaaalaaah maaa.. kapaan olahragaaa, bangun saja pagi2 ku tak sangguuuppp! tapi kan jangan ironik gituu dong buang2 spatuuunyaa… itu kan limited editionnn! HUHUUHUHU.. kejemm)
okay skip tht sad memory.. okay itu pertama..
kedua…
ya, malas..
hahaha..
gue malassss!
tapi entah kenapa jiwa olahraga gue tetap bergejolak teriak2 dalam kepala “ayo mel olahraga mel ayooo!”
akhirnya gue ada ide jenius…
gue inget tuh…
pas anter vin ke airport maren ni naek taxi dr tmpt gue, di perjalanan gue liat ada deretan toko, makanan, ada pija hut..
gue pengen reminiscing ceritanya…
gue ajaklah yuan dengan iming2..
“yuan, ada pizza hut loh deket sini…..”
dan YEAYYYYYY!
dia pun tertarik dan kita mulai jalan…
ya, gue dengan seperangkat baju tadi bekas karoke masih menempel 1 helai, pake jaket, pake legging saja.. pake sendal jepit (bukan yg bentuk swallow kok… hehhee..) sama bawa 1 hp, 1 dompet, kunci rumah.. cepol rambut seadanya..
dan yuan masih pake baju tadi pegi, minus pake sendal jepit bentuk swallow, bawa hp ma dompet…
derr kita jalan…
pikir sih cm jalan2 bentar liat pija hut trs pulang, mam di rumah, ngirit dong..
hauhua…
trus kita jalan menusuri trotoar..
mencari dimanakah letak pija hut itu…
jalan
jalan
jalan
jalan
jalan
jalan
teruuuuuuus jalan..
sampe jauhhhhhhhhh bgt…
dan DHUEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!
gue polos aja ngomong “kok ga ada yah pija hutnya?”
HAUHAUAHUAHUAUA…..
kita jalan jauh bgt..
sampe mendekati mrt berikutnya..
(tempat kita tuh d mrt boon keng)
kita jalan sampe nemu mrt potong pasir..
hauhahau..
tetep ga ada pija hut loh!
gue keki sendiri dalam hati…
sampe pada kesimpulan..
KITA LAPAAAR….
akhirnya kita mikir2, berdiskusi..
“kemanaaa yaaa”
ampe kita putuskan CLARKE QUAY!
(yaoloh clarke quay)
wkkwkwkw…
yep…
bayangkan dengan baju begitu, gue tekankan, SENDAL JEPIT
kita naek mrt ke clarke quay n mam ramen disana..
hahhaa..
alhasil, mau ngirit mala makan mahal sekalian…
hauhauhauhauauhauhua………………………………..
saat sampe di mrt potong pasir, gue baru ngeh..
betapa bodohnya yuan..
(gue sih sadar diri gue bodoh.. tapi lebih bodoh yg dibodohin orang bodoh kan?)muahahahahahhaha…
P.S.: maap ya yuan, gue kan gatau klo pija hutnya raib gitu aja, waktu naek taxi gue liat kok beneran… tapi kok ga ada ya…
hauhauhauhauha…
i ask God to take away this pain, then He fulfilled it.. in different way..
October 13, 2008 ·

i ask Him to take away my pain away
i expected that He will give me a miracle in some way that will enlighten my feeling
but i was wrong..
i know this is one of His plans…
He did take away my pain..
but now i am numb..
numb in a way that i barely feel my heart beats
i barely feel anything
i wish this was just a dream
a merely bad dream
that when i wake up tomorrow
i could feel as usual
i could feel him as usual
God, help me go through this..
Thy will be done……..
hold me close when You’re about to break my heart…
but grant me patience to go through this relationship when it’s about time to move on…….
sometimes loving you needs more faith than i already have.
October 12, 2008 ·

if love is merely just about appearances and looks….
then tell me what do you call the feel that i feel for you right now?

tell me that i am naive..
tell me that i am blinded by love
but to me, love is not merely just about appearances and looks
how can you love someone when you judge that person by her/his outside appearance?
how can love that you feel when you love what’s on outside, not the inside?
how can you put a stamp on someone only from what you see from her/his?
isn’t it too easy to judge people by their looks?
when you think deeply and more…
that you, yourself is more than just your appearance, more than just your body?
you are what’s inside you
you are beneath your appearance
you are the soul
even soul doesn’t have looks and appearance
it’s what fills your physical body…
then if you think about that, how come it’s so easy to demanding someone else to change their appearance?
when you love someone, then love that person for who she/he is..
if you don’t like some of her/his features, why bother to love that person?
so who’s more naive now?
i really don’t understand why some people easily say that they don’t like other just because she/he lacks of this or that, or too much this or that……
my alien landlord.
October 10, 2008 ·

pernah ngekost, tapi ibu kostnya makin lama semakin menggila dengan keedanannya?
that’s what happening to me…
ibu kost gue dari awal gue disini, manis2 banget..
kek kembang gula digulain lagi…
abis itu makin lama, gue ga ngerti napa attitudenya makin banyak problemnya…
ive no idea, it’s whether she’s money oriented, or maybe she did travel to the outter space then kidnapped by the alien, so that she’s able to change to be both an alien n a human now…
wkwkwkwkwkkwkwkw……
tapi perubahannya drastis..
sekarang dia jadi dingin..
(okay, gue hiperbola sedikit)
wkwkwk..
tapi sekarang dia kejam, dia mata duitan bgt..
huhuhh..
im starting to be dissapointed by her time by time..
mule dari dulu tiap gue balik sini dia ga sdiain kamar gue..
ato dia kontrakkin kamar gue ke org laen pas gue liburan padahal gue bayar full saat itu…
ada lagi waktu obat ma cable printer gue ilank dia gamau responsible for it..
padahal obat itu penting banget..
dan gue finally harus beli adaptor printer gue seharga $175 padahal itu bukan salah gue sama sekali……
trus ada lagi waktu gue uda stay sama yuan disini, dia makin menjadi, naekkin harga kost ga kira2…
uda gitu kamar selalu ga ada wkt gue balik, alesannya gue ga kasih dia kabar..
padahal jelas2 gue wkt mau balik indo sms dia, kasih tanggal gue balik..
still she doesnt want to be the one to blame…
crazyy sia!
tapi peaknya akhir2 ini…
waktu tgl 29 september kemaren (gue biasa bayar kost tiap tgl 20)
dia tiba2 panggil gue..
bilang kapan gue bisa bayar kost, dia bilang gue uda telat 1/2 bulan..
(klo dia bisa ngitung, itu baru telat 9 hari)
abis itu dia bilang klo bisa besok bayar…
(gila, dia pikir gue dengan gampang kluarin duit dr saldo bank gue! walo gue tau itu buat kost gue, at least give me time to talk to my parents dong dong dong)
abis itu, what i did was i didnt pay the next day..
huahaua….
with many excuses(as she always gives me….)
gue baru bayar hari ini..
wkwkw..
dulu ibu kost gue ga gituuu..
ive been staying here for 2 years n more..
this is the first time she seems so afraid tht i wont pay for the rent fee..
maksudnya apa coba?
previously she promised me to find me another room(she forced me to move to this new building, as an excuse that she didnt have any room for me in the old building)
then now im stuck here…
though im starting to enjoy here..
but still..
it’s very dissapointing to face the fact that she is so irresponsible in taking care of her duty as a landlord..
even juz now i wanted to pay the rent fee..
i went down there n she was busy with stuffs, didnt even say a single “sorry” that she kept me waiting there…
(it’s a matter of etiquette!)
well now im getting used to her…
(perhaps….)
im planning to move out from this hell soon…
well i hope i could find a better place somewhere…
huahauahuahuahhauhua…..
n btw, she fought with person when i was there juz now..
when someone asked her what happen, she simply said it was not her fault that the person she fought with doesnt get the room here in this building..
it’s because other’s fault…
from what i get is that she is the kind of selfish person who doesnt want to get blame….
its a pity coz i lost my respect already…..
im so damn dissapointed..
untitled.
October 8, 2008 ·

I stare at those white roses
and they remind me of you..
I see that they’re suffering to survive and keep alive,
as I survive til the day I see you again
It’s not that long but a day feels like a year
I ensure myself that we are going to be alright
But I miss you and moments we share together
The smell of you is fading away
The presence of you starts to disappear
Is there any way that I can do to keep them with me, here?
I wish I could touch you again just like I did 4 days back
I wish I could hug and hold you close like I did those times
I hold your clothes and I say to myself,this is not okay
Though I pretend to be
I know I won’t be able to be okay when you’re not around……..
if you didn’t love me…
October 7, 2008 ·

If every drop of water disappeared from the land
kalau setiap tetes air lenyap
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
dan setiap tetes dari lautan berubah menjadi pasir
That would all be nothing
semua itu tidak akan ada apa-apanya
Compared to what I’d feel
dibandingkan dengan apa yang akan aku rasakan
If you didn’t love me
kalau kamu tidak mencintai aku…
What if I woke up and couldn’t hear a sound
bagaimana kalau saat aku bangun dan aku tak dapat mendengar apapun?
And all that I could see was darkness all around
dan yang kulihat hanyalah kegelapan semata?
That would all be nothing
semua itu tidak akan ada apa-apanya
Compared to what I’d feel
dibandingkan dengan perasaanku
If you didn’t love me
kalau kamu tidak mencintaiku…
If I could have the world and all that money could buy
kalau aku bisa memiliki dunia dan semua yang bisa kubeli dengan uang
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the sky
dan aku bisa bertamasya ke bulan dan langit
If they gave me golden wings, well I still couldn’t fly
kalau saja aku punya sayap emas, walau aku tetap tidak bisa terbang
without you, nothing would matter
tanpamu, semua tak akan berarti apapun untukku…
You and I walk beside each other day after day
kita berdua jalan bersebelahan hari demi hari
But there’s so much inside me, I never get to say
namun terlalu banyak yang tak sempat kusampaikan, kuucapkan…
My life would be so empty with nothing left to feel
hidupku akan menjadi sangat hampa tanpa kumerasakan apapun
If you didn’t love me
kalau kamu tidak mencintaiku
If you didn’t love me
ya, jika kamu tidak mencintaiku…


.corrinne may - if you didn't love me.
why there is such thing as goodbye?
October 4, 2008 · Filed under me · Edit
terlalu banyak yang tertinggal dari sejak kamu disini..
setiap jalan yang pernah kita lewatin, jadi kenangan buat aku
jalan yang dulu nampak biasa, jadi tampak luar biasa waktu aku liat sekarang, waktu aku laluin sekarang
tiap inci dari jalan, dari langkah kaki aku menusuri jalan-jalan itu
semua tampak nyata, semua serasa kamu ada di samping aku seperti 9 hari kemarin..
tempat-tempat dimana kita datang
tempat dimana kita kunjungin, smua terlalu indah buat aku
aku bahagia, tapi aku juga merasa sesak
seakan ada lubang besar menganga di dalam hati aku..
aku kehilangan kamu….
ga akan pernah ada kata yang tepat buat jelasin rasa ini
rasanya sakit, lega, senang, bahagia, sedih, semua jadi satu…..
tempat dimana aku duduk ini, ingetin aku sama kamu
ingetin apa yang kita bicarain disini..
di kamar tempat aku tidur, punya kenangan sendiri
tempat tidur yang pernah kamu tidurin pun jadi kenangan buat aku…
baju kamu yang ada disini..
your smell still lingers there…
dan buat aku pengen simpen itu sampai aku bisa ketemu kamu lagi…
sampai aku bisa ketemu orang yang aku sayang lagi..
anduk aku yang kamu pinjem, ga bisa aku cuci, aku mau terus simpen itu…
baju yang tadi aku pake waktu anter kamu ke airport, belom aku taruh tempat cucian..
aku pengen simpen juga…
karena pake baju itu aku peluk kamu, aku rangkul kamu, aku jalan bareng kamu, aku nangis di bahu kamu…
semuanya begitu berarti…
tiap aku jalan ke dapur, ke kamar mandi, keluar kamar
semuanya ingetin aku sama kamu
shower di kamar mandi yang tadi kamu pakai belum aku ganti tipenya..
aku benci kalau showernya begitu, tapi waktu tadi aku mandi, aku ga benci lagi..
aku mau biarin itu seperti itu aja…
aku ga akan ubah…
walau aku tau nanti aku akan, pasti ketemu kamu lagi..
tapi tetep, ada yang hilang dari hidup aku..
9 hari lalu aku bener-bener ngerasa hidup..
tapi sekarang, aku lagi-lagi seakan cuma tinggal sementara disini…
dan aku nunggu saat aku pulang..
pulang ke rumah..
pulang ke tempat dimana ada kamu…
pulang untuk ketemu kamu..
aku kangen banget sama kamu…
sangat kangen….
childhood memories.
September 25, 2008 ·

hari ini ketemu stanley seperti biasa, nongkrong di coffee club..
its been few days we havent met..
hehhee…
tadi ketemuan…
tiba2 aja ngomongin ttg masa2 sd, smp, sma..
hahaha…
inget gaa sih jaman2 sd dulu….
cupu2 gajelas..
dari jaman ikutan lomba 17an di sekolah..
haha..
nangkep belut lah, tarik tambang, balap karung, makan kerupuk..
*oh i miss those times! ;)*
trus jaman2nya bisa nyontek..
coba 1001 macam cara..
dari masukin contekan ke pulpen, masukin ke tmpt pensil, taro di rok lah, paha lah..
ahhaha..
trus sampe jaman2nya porno2an booming abis…
smua ngumpul rame2 buat liatin yg mesum2..
hihi..
sebar2 komik hentai ke satu kelas ke kelas laen, baca pas pelajaran..
jaman2nya aib smuaa..
hahahahah…
trus inget banget gue dulu suka ngerjain guru2, ngerjain temen2..
oh i rili want to laugh at those times..
hahahahha…
trs apalagi ya??
ohya..
jaman pramuka tuhhh..
ahaha…
inget ga sih anthemnya pramuka?
hahahaha….
kami pramuka indonesia, manusia pancasila
satyaku kudharmakan, dharmaku kubaktikan
agar jaya indonesia, indonesia tanah airku
kami jadi pandumu
haha…
gue kangeeeen juga tuh jambore..
asik banget bisa nginep bareng temen2 satu sekolah gituu..
gajelas pasti tiap mau tidur, kita pura2 tidur pas guru2 lewat meriksa..
abis itu cekikikan cerita2 sampe akhirnya ketiduran..
macem2 juga model tidurnya..
ada yg acak2an..
ada yg nendang2in temen sebelahnya…
ada yang ketendang..
ada yg bangun2 nyium kaki lah..
ada yang kentut lah..
hahaha….
seru bangettttt!!!!!!!!!
trus gue juga inget jaman2nya olahraga tuh..
(pelajaran fave gue banget!)
smp tuh..
apa2an kali pake senam poco2(mentang2 wkt itu poco2 terkenal banget, sampe masuk tipi,.. yaoloh.. wkwkwkwk..)
dulu sampe sempet di tes deh tuh poco2..
untung aja gue jago..
haha..
trs sd, pasti tiap berapa minggu senam skj..
gue dulu kok bisa2nya gatau malu yee bisa mimpin senam di depan smua org..
hihihii..
skrg klo dipikir2 gue kecil ebat bener…
wkwkkw..
trs upacaraaa tuh!
gue paling males upacara..
jaman sd gue diuber2 guru gr2 selalu pake sepatu warna laen(malah kadang warna putih) hahaha!
trus dulu curangnya gue, gue ikut dokter kecil, jadi klo upacara bole ngadem di uks..
YIPEEE..
hahaha….
trs smp, gue sering ngumpet2 ma minjem dasi/topi temen..
hihi…..
ato sma, pura2 aja pingsan kek..
hahahaha…….
fun bangetttt..
n i really miss those times sometimes..
:D
klo dulu smua yang bikin susah, bikin marah, bikin keki, lucu2, konyol2..
skrg dipikir2 jadi ngangenin bgt…
pengen rasanya bisa balik ke masa2 itu….
:D
i know yet i act like its never happened before.
September 14, 2008 ·

i know sometimes loving you is the hardest thing to do
i know that loving someone like you is sometimes hard to do
i even know that you are you
but yet sometimes i feel so tired, so weary
i must have known that this is the path that i had chosen
this is something that i must go along and live with
but it’s just, im getting tired with all of these stuffs sometimes
it’s off and on.. off and on.. off and on….
maybe ive been doing too much
maybe because im easy, you take me for granted
maybe you just dont know how to treat me or show that you care
but this is me, this is who i am
who always try to make you happy
who always try to sacrifice anything for you
who always try to satisfy you
who always try to comfort you
i even cry with you when you’re sad
i laugh for you when you’re happy
i congratulate you when you’re the winner
i cheer you up when you’re sad
i hug you close when you cry
i apologize sometimes for no reason, just perhaps it makes your heart feel lighter
i always try to keep you up high in the sky, so i can watch you from the ground below you
i always stay awake to see you finally fall asleep, and realize that you’re gonna be just perfectly fine
i’d do anything for you, whatever you wish, whatever that’s on your mind, i always try to guess and do in advance
i always try to surprise you with little thing i can do
but why?
why is it sometimes hard for you to understand me?
to just comfort me when i am sad
i know that you want, it’s just you can’t, isn’t it?
i always hope that you would have called me when i am really in pain and say “it’s gonna be just fine.. im here with you”
i always bear in mind that maybe someday you’ll change
i sometimes hope that you take a step further and show how much you care about me, how much you love me
or even a phone call, just to say that you love me..
or just ask, “how are you and hows ur day?”
it would be just fine with me..
its really fine..
more than enough…
but i know it’s not you
it’s not what you usually do…
but still, sometimes i reach the point where i wish you were someone else
someone better than you..
but i dont want you to change
but i dont want if it wasnt you….
why loving you is so hard to do?
or is it just me who’s making it so hard?
ode to my good friends.
September 14, 2008 ·

They, who always there for me
comfort me
succor me
they, who i called friends
well, good friends…
good friends who always there for me whenever i need them
they who always know that i’m in my deepest pain
they who always know the right timing just to ask, “r u okay?”
they who know how to make me feel better
they who know when to keep silence n listen to me, to my cry
they who understand my silence…
i thank God for letting them in into my life
i thank God for letting me have such good friends…
i thank God for a little happiness in my pain
it always feel so good to know that i always have them to cheer me up, to comfort me and to make me feel that i am worthy and know that i am not alone……
colors.
September 8, 2008 ·

i see bright colors when i’m happy
i see black when i’m mad
i see the brightest red when i’m angry
i see white when i’m alone
i’m colorblind when i’m in love
i see colorful world when i realise that i’m alive
but i see nothing when i’m sad
because tears are falling from my eyes……..
no i didnt shed a tear, coz its falling too fast, my dear.
September 6, 2008 ·

it’s only just 30 minutes until 12.00 am
it’s only juz few minutes til the new day
the day, where we, you and i, 458 days back then, met, and promised to each other that we would never be apart
no matter what,
no matter how difficult the task would be
no matter how many obstacles we would face in the future
then suddenly everything is changed
why do you have become someone that i don’t recognize?
why do you have to shattered my happiness into pieces?
am i not worth enough for you?
im starting to question, what am i to you?
i know this and am sure is not a goodbye
and i know this is not the end of our story
but yet, it’s painful, dear..
it’s hurting me
no, i’m not crying a single tear
and no, i’m not even holding a tear from falling to my cheeks
i’m just seeing them falling as fast as you left me behind
as fast as you abandoned me without saying anything
what have i done that makes you changed?
what have i not done that makes you dissapointed?
that makes you not you?
but, my dear, you know what?
no matter how hurt it is
no matter how small my heart torn into pieces
no matter how loud i scream i hate you
no matter how cold the way i talk to you
you will always know that i will always love you…
happy anniversary, my dear….

07.09.08 - 12.00am
hal-hal tidak lumrah..
August 11, 2008 ·

pernah ga punya kesukaan sama hal2 yg dianggap orang laen ga penting dan biasa aja?
tapi buat kita keknya it’s sumthin special?
atau buat kita itu layak dinikmatin?
i do have!
banyak org bilang kadang gue aneh suka hal2 begituan..
tapi gimana dong, udah suka dari sananya! hahahahahahahaha…
well maybe turunan juga loh..
karena dr some of the list, are my mom’s fave too!
here are some of my fave-weird-things:
1. smell of leaves in the morning
2. smell of gasoline
3. smell of wet soil
4. smell of him (AHAHAHAHA.. incl bau keringetnya juga suka kok! ;P)
5. smell of aircon when we first turn it on
6. butterflies(they’re all amazing!! im a big fan of em! ahahaha..)
7. all white flowers
8. green tea(anything made of green tea, it tastes good!)
9. clouds with shapes
10. sound of waves
11. the beach itself
12. green colours
13. full moon
14. stars
15. night time(i have no idea why night time always give me certain moods)
16. the colour of the sky in the afternoon
17. fluffy stuffs surface(maybe that’s why i love rubbing my teddy bear’s tummy! hahahaha..)
18. when my hair being stroked(it makes me sleepy! :D)
19. hunting for 4 leaves clover!
20. sound of running water
apaa ada yg punya kesamaan juga seperti gue?
hehehehehehee…..
can you feel me in?
July 18, 2008 ·

you ignore me and turn your back at me, im fine with it
i talk to you but you never listen to me, im still fine with it
you never see me as something special in your eyes, im also fine with it..
i forced myself to smile though my heart aches, im fine..
you ask my opinion but never really listen to it, i guess im fine
you act as if im invisible, i guess im just fine..
you stare at me, but i don’t see myself in your eyes
you touch me but i dont feel anything, not like it used to be..
you said it was just because it’s not the right timing..
i guess im fine..
i tell you that i love you, but you stand still..
i hold my tears
i put my head down
i let them drop
i shed them
you never see them…
yes, you never see them falling..
i turn to you, i forced myself to smile
i know i must be looked fake, but i dont care
coz i know you dont even care either…
last time you told me how much you love me…
i believed in you..
one day you act like you love me too much, that you wouldnt be able to leave me..
but the other day you treat me like im not worthy enough to be loved, like i dont even there..
tell me what do you feel about me?
tell me what should i do to make you treat me like those days when you love me too much….
i never ask you to provide me everything i want..
i never expect for 24 hours conversation..
i never ask for 7-day dating..
i never ask you to call me everyday..
i never ask you to sms me everytime..
i never ask you to treat me nice and sweet everytime we meet and date..
but dont make those as a reason for you to take things easily..
can you just feel me in just a little?
can you take a minute to try feel what i feel inside?
to be like me?
to find the reason behind my tears today?
to find why i hold my tears?
why i forced those smiles?

Tapi cobalah sejenak mengerti
Bila rasaku ini rasamu
Sanggupkah engkau menahan sakitnya
Coba bayangkan kembali
Betapa hancurnya hati ini kasih
Semua telah terjadi
just hold me.
July 18, 2008 ·

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I’d choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I’d audition
And if I didn’t love you
You would know

And why can’t you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care…..

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn’t matter
I wish I didn’t give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I’d choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I’d audition
And if I didn’t love you
You would know

And why can’t you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can’t remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days

And Why….
Why can’t you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care…

maria mena - just hold me
JOGJA im in love
July 15, 2008 ·

kemaren gue ke jogja..
yep, for real ke jogja dalam sehari..
imagine, 2 days lacked of sleeping, then the next morning woke up early again, missed the flight, then another lacked of sleeping, then woke up even earlier than the day before, then finally took the earliest flight to jogja…
sampe di jogja kemaren…
HOAHMMMMMM…
gue menguap selebar2nya..
(mungkin kuda nil kalah tuh…)
wkwkwkwk….
sampe di jogja gue ikut tur..
yes, a city tour for 1 day…..
first stop itu PRAMBANAN..
secara seinget gue belon perna ke prambanan, gue excited bgtt..
hehehehehe…
di jalan mao ke prambanan, gue liat di pinggir jalan banyak halte kek punya transjakarta gituu… tp dalam skala yg lebi kecill(ceileeh skalaaaa)
lucu aja ada transjakarta.. eh salah.. namanya jadi transjogjakarta..
wooow, amazing bgt ga ada yg antrii dan ugal2an kek di jakarta!
(hmm… made me wonder how come the people soo different…)
jadiii, di jogja dengan penduduk kurang lebih 3 juta manusia iniiiii, merupakan kota yg dipikir2 mirip jg sama fave gue, bali…
yep…
miriipp tipis2 ma bali..
ehehehehe…
sama2 ngehargain art…
sama2 ramah…
sama2 ga macet kek jakarta..
sama2 enakk cuacanya, dengan panas yg ga panas seujubilah tolong kek jakarta..
sama2 menghargai tradisi dan perbedaan..
hwehehehe..
dan yg pasti sih jg surganya makanan enak..
hahahahaha..
anywayyy..
sampe di prambanan, yaa gitu, dijelasin kenapa ada 3 candi utama yg merupakan perwakilan dr 3 dewa utama di Hindu, which are Shiva, Wisnu(or Vishnu?), n Brahma…
each of em punya binatang kesayangan juga..
Brahma punya swan(cool huh?), Shiva punya bull gitu? kerbau. heuhueheue.. dan Wisnu punya garuda(cool! hahaha..)
masing2 hewan itu punya tempat(candi) sendiri di depan candi2 utama tadi…(yg obviously punya Shiva paling gede n ada di tengah2.. hehehe..)
nextttttttttttttttttt stop itu adalah keraton jogjakarta..
:D
wooahh..
mantabb..
sekali ini juga gue masuk ke dalemnya…
uwaahhh…
kuerenn…
jadi pengenn tinggal di keraton..
wkwkwkw..
*ngarep amaad gue..
abis dr keraton, makan siang di pesta perak(gue rasa ambil kata dr pesta porak nih.. wkwkwkw..)
check this out: http://www.yogyes.com/en/yogyakarta-restaurant/pesta-perak/
makanannya buffet(wow!)
jadi meliarlah gue..
wkwkwkw.
pertama gue ambil supnya..
sup kol dgn telur gitu2 deh..
pertama liat sih ga napsu, jadi ambil dikit2 aja..
ehhhh! ternyataa uenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak bgt!
supnya itu seger banget…
seger dan ga oily kek sup biasa2 gitu..
supnya rich with broth(i guess sih chicken broth…)
pokonya yummy!
yg gue sangka kolnya bakal overcooked, ternyata tidak!
smua rasanya pas di mulut gue..
hehehe..
abis sup gue abisin, gue ambil tahu guling(gue juga baru tau ada makanan ini! makanya gue coba.. hehehe..) sama 1 biji sate ayam..
ternyata tahu guling tuh isinya gini:
ada tahu n tempe bacem dipotong kotak2 kecil2, lalu pake kol(gue rasa si mentah/direbus gitu de), trus ada toge yg masih baby gitu, trs ada parsley rasanya, sama ada apaa gitu..
tp yg gue ambil cuma tahu tempe, kol ma toge aja, trs ada kuahnya, first thought sih kek kuah tahu gejrot, tp baunya beda, jadi anyway gue ambil ja secukupnya, trs gue ambil 2 macem sambel, yg keknya 1 sambel terasi, satu sambel tomat, yg semuanya keknya sambel matang(sambel yg bumbunya digoreng dulu semuanya)…
trs gue mule coba makan, wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
lagi2 enakkkK!
jadi kuahnya bukan kuah tahu gejrot..
kuahnya seger, tp ga enek..
secara gue rada enek sama kuah tahu gejrot karena bawang merahnya gitu..
dan ini kuahnya ga pedes, pas ditambah sambelnya, wuahh mantabb!
trs gue cobain sate ayamnya, walo agak alot, tp sebenernya enak bgt ni sate..
hehehe..
(ato mungkin gue aja x yee laper? :P)
abis tahu guling n sate 1 biji, gue akhirnya ke tempted makan nasi gudegnya.
jadi gue ambil nasi putih dikit, pake krecek, pake nangka, pake telornya, ambil tahu tempe bacem, ambil tumisan kol ma jamur kuping, sama ambil sambel..
heehe..
nasi gudegnya emang mantab..
ga ada nasi gudeg seenak gudeg di jogja!
heuheuuehue..
abis makan smuanya, gue akhirnya makan buah..
hehehe…
abis kenyaaang, next stop itu ke tempat pengrajin perak ma batik..
di tempat batik gue belajar bikin batik..
(imagine, gue benci bgt ma batik nowadays krn banyaknya batikkk bersebaran dimana, hiiy, mungkin gue batikparnophobia..)
tp sejak dr keraton, gue tau klo batik itu exclusive, tp cuma yg tulis loh, bukan yg cap stempel….
batik itu bener2 limited edition, tiap design harusnya cuma ada 1..
dan batik itu ageless..
gabisa dimakan waktu..
wuaahh..
im in love with batik tulis!
hehehehe…
ternyata bikin batik tulis pun susah!
sapa tuh yg bilang bikin batik gampang, sini gue gampar2 pake spatu hak tinggi punya pamela anderson(loh)
gilaa kali yeee sebagai org yg belon perna megang canting, gue megang untuk pertama kalinya, gue belajar ngebatik, wadoowwwhhh, ampuun dijeeeeeeeeeeeee……….
susahnyaaaa ga kira2..
wkwkwkkw…
ternyat konon, batik berasal dr 2 kata: ba dan tik..
ba itu membuat, dan tik itu tik tik tik(titik titik)..
yep..
makanya batik itu identik dengan titik2 kecil..
jadiii, makin banyak titik2 kecil di batik itu, jangan heran makin tinggi nilainya…
tp jgn salah loh, ga smua batik juga designnya titik2..
banyak banget design batik..
hehehehehee…
tp sori2 aje, gue tetep ilfil ma batik2 yg bersebar di sembarangan tempat dan bejibun…
diih, geliii!
wkwkwkwk..
*sombong mode ON
dari 2 tempat ini, gue cabut ke mendut n boroooobudur(akhirnya)
wekeke..
gue sih belon perna ke mendut..
hihi..
ternyata kecil candinya..
well anyway, gue ke borobudur(lagi) untuk kesekian kali.. hehehehe..
abis poto2in borobudur sampe puas, gue sampe di tingkat paling atas/nirvana..
heheehe..
ampe disana..
eh dasar edan, masa aje ada sekelompok anak2 muda gitu(keknya anak kuliahan dehh)
secara gue pegi ma 1 bule, dipikir gue juga foreigner keknya..
dengan inggris belepotan, sekelompok ini ngajak ngmg gue ma bule ini poto2..
dhueeeeeeeeeer…
cabe deee..
ngapain dalem ati gue ni org minta poto2?
mana 1 org poto ma gue pake tempel2in pipi..
blehh penting yeeyy?
swt begetee..
=="
abis dr borobudur, gue cabut balik ke airport naek last flight..
heehehehe..
cuapegg sampe rumah..
tp fun!
(:

*BTW thx beb uda jemput aku di airport sampe bawain makanan.. :*

macetophobia
July 13, 2008 ·

ga pernah tau kalo macet bisa membuat orang frustasi, phobia dan traumatic….
hahaha..
it happensssssss! ke diri gue sayangnya.. (T________________T)
setelah insiden bandung pt. I kemaren itu yang membawa dampak buruk 80% lebih banyak ketimbang dampak baiknya..
kemacetan di kota bandung itu membuat gue jadi trauma dan menggila jika melihat kemacetan dimanapun mata memandang..
contohnya kemaren aja..
beberapa hari lalu, keknya tepatnya hari kamis n jumat lalu..
nyokap gue dengan sukses cuti 2 hari dengan maksud minta ditemenin (dengan alasan minta ditemenin gue) jalan2..
okay..
destination utama adalah pasti dan jelas2 pasti kota jakarta yang terkenal dengan kemacetan yang luar biasa ancur2an dan parah…
segera gue teriak dala kepala (ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
secara nyokap uda cuti masa mo dikecewain? so gue turutin maunya nyokap..
kamis itu gue ma nyokap pegi ke mangga dua..
wuih..
untung saja tidak macet..
walo namanya jakarta, macet2 dikit tmasuk kategori wajar..
hehehee…
jadi gue masih belon kena dampak dari macetophobia…
soon, sampe di mangdu..
ah tidakkk!
mungkin ada penyakit selanjutnya yang namanya palaepusingekarenaebanyakorangebangetephobia
idiihh.. rame banget mentang2 masih suasana liburan kali yeeeeeeee?????
1 hal yang gue ga tahan di mangdu itu adalah banyaknya orang2 (biasanya embak2 ato tante2 super heboh) yang suka jalan ga pedui dia nginjek kaki org sampe bengkak, ga peduli mau nabrak orang tetep jalan terus, ga peduli mau narik2 barang yg lagi diliat2 org lain..
dan satu lagi sih kelompok bapak2/mas2 yang sangat amat tidak peduli sama orang lain dengan merokok sembarangan..
namun dasar orang indonesia rata2 otaknya pun di bawah rata2 kemampuan otak orang (maaf) idiot, jadi ada bacaan banyak dan besar2 seperti "DILARANG MEROKOK" pun ga dihiraukan..
kalo kata peribahasa sih, gajah di pelupuk mata tidak terlihat(yang kayaknya memang cocok dengan budaya bangsa kita yang cacat dan tidak keruan ini… toh peribahasa ini keknya juga made in indonesia, betul?)
well banyaknya orang2 begini di mangdu membuat gue alergi buat datang ke tempat ini klo ga kepepet(baca:dipaksa temenin mama)
coz this place is terribly annoying!
ngomong2 hal ini juga yah. gue jadi mengingat adanya orang2 super menyebalkan dan super annooyyyyyyiiing di mall tercinta, lippo supermal (NOT)…
pernah ke mall ini dan masuk lewat lobby yang deket hypermart?
klo pernah, pasti ngeliat banyaknya ‘kumbang tahi’ berkeliaran di deket pintu masuk..
kumbang ini bisa banyak jenisnya.
ada yang bawa2 botol air minum berwarna biru dan suka memaksakan ngasih2 ke orang sambil colek2 ato dorong2(yang bener2 absolutely annoying!)
ada juga yang pake rok mini2 dan berlagak sexy padahal ga ada sexy2nya, nah yang ini tugasnya membawa mangsa bapak2 yang idung belang2 mata keranjang(buah) ke mobilnya lalu entah dibuat apa hingga membeli barang gajelas seharga jutaan rupiah..
gee…..
banyaknya kumbang2 seperti ini di mall ini membuat kesan murahan dan awur2an acak2an ga berbenah…
dan kek gitu menurut gue sih bener2 menyesatkan dan ga bener..
masa kek gitu sih..
apalagi tipe kumbang pertama..
seperti ini ngmgnya, tepatnya ada 2 situasi.
berikut situasi I:
Kumbang tahi tipe I(KTTI): silahkan pak/bu(tgantung sapa subjeknya), ini gratis lohhhh.. *sambil sodor2in aer minum ga jelas apa itu isinya, mungkin saja air kencing si kumbang sendiri?*
Bapak/Ibu korban bencana kumbang tahi tipe I(KBKTTI): gakk, makasihhh *sambil lalu jalan*
KTTI: gratiisss loh iniiiiiiiiiiii *sambil pasang aksi nempel2in botolnya makin giat dan seraya menempel2kan badannya ato sambil colek2 tangan si korban*
KBKTTI: gakk, mas/mba, makasihhh… *lalu dengan sukses menghindar*
"berbahagialah orang yang tidak mendengar bujuka si kumbang karena dia akan memperoleh ketenangan dan kebahagiaan"
(LOHH? wkkwkw..)
lalu berikut situasi II:
KTTI: silahkan pak/bu(tgantung sapa subjeknya), ini gratis lohhhh.. *sambil sodor2in aer minum tersebut*
KBKTTI: uhmmmm… *sambil mikir "lumayann nihh gratisan" trus mupeng liatin botolnya*
KTTI: ambil aja bu/pak, gratis kok.. *tangannya mulai meraih dan menggapai apa saja yang bisa digapai dari si korban sambil senyum2 jijaiiiy*
KBKTII: ehhmmm… *masih liatin botolnya dan mau aja dibawa2 si KTTI*
* lalu si korban berusaha memegang botol itu, yang notabene dipegang erat2 (kek balonkuu) sama si KTTI biar gampang narik si korban masuk jebakan utama*
KTTI: *dengan mudah mendapat korban, membawanya entah ke tempat antah berantahhh dan diapain tu gue gatau..*
KBKTII: *dibodohi dengan hebatnya*
yahhh.. begituu cacatnya.. dan begitu banget caranya buat nyari uang?
plisss deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh hari geneeee…!!!
okay2.. dilanjutkan tadi sampe di mangga dua.. hehehe.,.
nah hari itu berakhir dengan gue kena phobia satu lagi…
wkwkwkkwkw..
pulang dr mangdu pala gue puyeng asoyy gebooyy kek abis ditamparin babon..
heuheuuheuhue..
besoknya, hari jumat, gue sama nyokap pegi lagi ke jakarta..
gue ada feeling dr pagi pas bangun keknya hari itu bakal berakhir cilaka..
AGH! bad feeling selalu membuatku resahhh *ceileeh*
wkwkkw..
tujuan pertama sih hari itu anter ade gue ke skul buat pesen buku sma..
abis itu nyokap ngajak makan ke hyatt..
nyokap udah ribut ajee dr kapan tau klo makanan di sini enak…
okeh2..
tertempted oleh bujuk rayu nyokap, akhirnya makan dulu di hyatt…
so far so good, belon ada macet yang berarti yg bisa bikin phobia gue keluar..
ehhehehehehe…..
di hyatt, sampe jem 1/2 12..
ternyata eh eh ternyataaa(pake nada lagu "sang kodok eh eh eh sang kodooookkk" wkwkwkkw..)… restonya belon di buka!
AHHHH capeeee deeeeeee..
akhirnya nunggu 1/2 jem..
untung hotel baek hati, dikasih minum ma bread dulu..
hihihihi…
akihirnya abis roti dimakan, baru kita merampok buffetnya..
wkwkwkwkkwkw….
yummy yum yum yum…
ini dia list makanan yang gue masukin mulut:
1. gue makan pumpkin soup dan nyobain sedikit chicken and mushroom soup punya ade gue.. (tadinya sih mao ambil salad, tp abisss……. swt..)
2. abis sup gue makan, gue ambil white fish with cherry tomato, black pepper beef cooked in wok, sama ambil semacam ravioli gitu isi spinach and meat, keknya sih daging ikan ma keju(YUMMY ABISSS!)
3. belon puas, gue ambil sashimi salmon.. hahaha..mantab banget sashimiiiii.. :D
4. gue coba ambil dim sumnya.. tp gue makan yang duck roll, ini jg enak, minus ada paprikanyaa… hiyy gue pendukung shinchan yang ga doyan paprikaa!
5. abis itu gue comot2 dr nyokap yang ambil sirloin ma roasted chicken.. karena sirloinnya medium well(my fave!), jadi gue pikir rasanya enak kok.. hehehehe….
6. abis itu gue mesen squid with barbeque sauce yg dimasak langsung begitu kita pesen, tapi UEKKK, cuminya amis bgt dan mungkin ga freshh.. hiiy… gue pake sistem masukin mulut-minum aer-telen biar cepet abis.. hahaha..
7. belon kenyang juga, gue ambil smoked salmon yang kata nyokap enak, ahhh tapi kt gue gaenak…sempet berdebat sama si mama:
meL(m): maaahhhh, gaenaakk sih salmonnyaa? katanya uenaaakk?
mom(M): ahh enakk ahhh..
m: enggakk ah ma… boonk ih si mama…
M: enaakk ajjaa.. enak tauuuk..
m: gaenakk ma, asin2 ga kruan gini, anehh rasanya, acak2an gituu..
M: hush, masa masakan acak2an rasanya? enak ah?
m: nggakk…
M: ah masaa sih? emangg sih bedaa ma yg dulu mama makan.. skrg rasanya gimaanaaaa gituu
m: ah tuh kan..
M: yaah mama gatauuu, dulu makan enak terusss kok..
m: boonk ah, tukang tipu ih mama..
M: enaa e.. jgn salahin mama laah..
m: ahhhh.. uhhh.. hmphh *pasang muka ketidak puasan*
M: yeyyy…
begitulah jika ibu dan anak berantem.. wkwkwkwkwkw..
8. terus setelah menghabiskan itu smoked salmon yang kata gue sih gaenak, gue bingung mao ambil apa lg.. ehehehehe… trs gue nyerah deh makan main coursenya, gue cabut ke dessert corner.. pertama sih gue ambil puding ketan item.. wah gede juga potongannya.. hahaha..
9. abis puding, gue ambil crème brûlée .. uaaawahahahahaha.. kesukaaann gueeeeeeee! jarang nemu kek ginian enak… trs gue ambil tiramisu ma puding mangga juga.. yang smuanya ada di dalem sloki kecil2.. ehhehe…
10. abis itu gue ambil choc fondue, gue ambil pake sus kering kecil, stroberi ma marshmallow.. YUMMY!
11. abis itu belon puas, gue ambil gelato, dasar aje gue maruk, gue minta mix aje.. hehee.. gue minta vanilla macadamia nut campur green tea.. (AH! andaikan gue bisa menemukan es rasa vanilla macadamia nut dimana2! karena gue suka dua2nya..) abis itu gue sirem pake mixed berries sauce.. huaduuh uenakk bangettt..
abis itu kelar makaan, kluar dr hotel, telp sopir gue minta jemput, eh tiba2 ade gue ngmg gini dengan hebatnya dan kalemnya, "tadi kayaknya om bilang hp nya ketinggalan deh…." *pake muka ga bersalah*
ajaahh! bener2 ni anakk.. bukan bilang drtd!!
jadinya kita meng car call sopir gue..
yang selanjutnya, sampe 4x car call, GA DATENG2!
sampe akhirnya kita putus asa dan memutuskan turun ke parkiran..
wahh tidakk ada 3 lantaiii!
mau cari dimaneeee…
abis muter2 2 lantai parkiran, gue sudah naek pitam, akhirnya nanya sama mas2 di parkiran, ternyataaaaa ada parkiran khusus yg dateng ke hotel..
langsung aja gue jalan kesitu, yg ternyata juga jauh dan muter2…
ditambah nyokap gue kan orgnya panikan ma ga bisa liat suasana panas… swt…
bikin gue makin keki aja..
eh akhirnya nemu juga mobil gue!
baru menghela napas, gue harus engap2 an lagi megap2 cari udara kek ikan koki lompat kluar aquarium, dengan fakta klo sopir gue ga ada!
aghhhhhhhhhhhhh… akhirnyaaa…
setelah nunggu dan dengerin bawelnya nyokap gue yg ga bisa berenti ribut ngmg panas dan lama dan ngomel2 ga kruan, sopir gue dateng jalan ke arah kita sambil senyum2.. hahaha..
akhirnyaaa masuk mobil, itu yg penting bukan? ;P
belon cukup disiksa dengan capeknya urusan tadi, nyokap gue keukeuh mau ke sency yg terang2an ujung ma ujung dr thamrin ke sudirman! IDIIHHHHHH…
capeee dee..
akhirnya dengan kesal, dengan kambuhnya phobia macetophobia gue, dengan sempat ditilang polisi si***n gatau diri ituu, sampe di sencyyy(tapi notabene aja uda gaenak situasinya, uda berantem, cape, emosi)
ngmg2 td ditilang, it bener2 isengnya polisi jakarta yang mungkin ngebet mau cr duit buat ke prj x.. *cape deeee*
pas di sency, suasana sudah hot ampe kebakar.
uda gaenak..
jadi ya gituu dee..
badddddddd dayy bangett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
trs kemaren ni gue ke bandung lagi, 2 hari..
nginep untungnya.
hwehehe..
gue uda takut macet tuh..
tp untung aja gak..
hehehehe…
jadi gue ga kena macetophobia tuh..
XD


~sekian

untitled
July 13, 2008 ·

What is it love for you that I don’t understand the way you thought about it?
I cry when you’re sad
I blame myself when you’re down
I curse myself when you cry
I even cry when you’re angry…
I laugh with you, with your friends
I respect them as I do for you
I help you with solutions, the best I can do…
I hold your hands when you’re shaking
I hug you tight and calm you down when tears fall from your cheeks…
I run to you when you ask me to
And I will even when you don’t ask me to
I look into your eyes and believe your promises and happiness you offer me
And when I’m dissapointed, I still put my trust in you
I smile for you when you ask me to
Even when my heart tells no…
But is it so hard for you to do what i do for you?
Am I asking too much?
Have I ever asked what you can’t do?
What you can’t fulfil?
I try to understand every demand you have, every single tough situation I must encounter and hang with it…
I always tell myself that maybe someday it all worth the sacrifices and everything I’ve done
That maybe someday you will understand the way I feel inside, not to forget the pain I try to heal myself
That maybe you will say, `thank you` for everything I’ve done…
That maybe you will show me how you appreciate me soo much for what I’ve done…
But I guess it’s just maybe….
officially enter the wind(baca:masuk angin)
July 7, 2008 ·

yesterdaayy…
ooolll maiiii trabeell siimmmsss sooo paaarr eweeeeeeiii NOT…
swt.
satu kata itu menggambarkan bandung trip yesterday…
sungguh2 ide buruk ke bandung di hari minggu kek kemaren..
uda maceeeeettttt dimana2…
ughhhhhh……
seballl…
jadi kemaren ke bandung sama vin dan teman2…
asik sih……
rame2 gituuu..
tp kok pas sampe bandung(ah jangankan sampe bandungnya, belon menginjak kota bandung, di tol aja uda antreeeee kek antree BLT.. cabeee……)
pas masuk bandung wauhhhhhhhhhhhh… ampir smuanya membludak plat nomer B…
*great i thought, its gonnaaa beee a looooong loong and tiring journeeeyyy*
ternyata benar sajaaaa….
di bandung, destination pertama adalah kartika sari di pasir kaliki..
wah ga kira2 ramainya..
ditambah di sebrang gang itu ada wisma yg juga pas ada hajatan kondangan..
ah tidaakk..
ramai sekaliii…
yah namanya juga org jakarta ke bandung, ga ke kartika sari sih katanya ga lengkap/belon ke bandung *opini macam apa ituu*
di kartika sari oh tidaakk di gangnya itu loh ruweeet..
ruwet sama pengemis, ma tukang abang2 jualan, ma mobil yg gatau diri masuk gang! @$#(sensoran 3 kata, bahasa indonesia yang tidak baku, tebak saja… hahahaha..)
aduh ituu yahh uda kek pasar kaget di gang sempit..
bikin sewot..
apalagi biasa, ibu2 heboh..
di kartika sari kan banyak tuh yg heboh belanja sampe2 ga liat2 klo jalan tabrak sini sana…
buset uda badan tambun, jalan kek truk molen ga pake rem..
swt…..
tp toh gue mendapatkan apa yg gue maoi..
molen keju coklat titipan ade gue ma cheese stick, minus bagelen basah kesukaan papa.. hahahahaha.. *maap yah papa*
ampe kelar di kartika yg ruweet dan hampir ketelindes kakinya pas kluar dr gang, gue liat ada toko klapeertart.. *ah sudah lama pengen beliii*
akhirnya dibeli..
uenakk tenannn..
hehehe..
abis itu biasa gue beli brownies kukusnya amanda..
hehehehe…
unlike gueee… temen2 gue yg notabene semobil 9 orang, co smua kecuali gue..
mereka sibuk membawa banyak belanjaan..
hihii..
dipikir2 kok yg sibuk belanja itu mereka, bukan gue..
wkwkkwwkwkwk…
apalagi davin..(cie2 belanjaanya bejibunnn)
hehehe..
abis dr kartika ruwet itu, kita lunch dulu di warung cepot…
yaahh betapa malangnya resto ini…
salah sekali dia kedatangan gerombolan si berat ini..
hahaha..
ternyata dia menyediakan kerupuk banjur gratiiss…. wkkww..
yakni kerupuk putih yg biasa buat gado2 pecel, disirem pake sambel oncom (thumbs up!) hehehehe…
secara brutalllll kita smua merampok itu kerupuk..
hahahahaha…
ternyata makanannya enak juga dan tergolong murah kok..
seporsi 20rb an….
yummy banget.
khas sunda gituuu..
ehhehehehehehhe…
dasyattt…
abis kenyang makan, kita jalan lagi..
ke lembang (IDEEEEEEEE BURUUK!)
walahhh inaaanngg..
buruk sekalii ide ke lembang ini..
maceett bgtt..
full ma plat nomer B..
huehhh…
tp untung ada yuan yg nyelametin memberi jalan alternatif (cie2 yuann.. thx yaaa.. :D)
jadi mendingan deh..
ke lembang ya kemana lagi klo ga ke sumur tmpt susu murni itu..
heuheuhe..
sampe disana, ya minum2 geje..
abis itu temen2 mikir mao flying fox yg ujung2nya gajadi gajelas alesannya.
hwhwhwhwhw…
abis yuan pulang, ga lama gue n temen2 masih di sumur…
abis dr sumur, kita mikir mao turun balik bandung mau ke PVJ buat dinner trs plg..
another nitemareeeee..
maceeeeet lagi macetttt lagiiiiii…
gue rasa komo pun enggan dituduh jadi biang kemacetan di bandung… hahahahahhaha…
karena gila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
macetnyaa gila!
akhirnya setelah menempuh beratnyaaaa macett itu, kita sampe di PVJ yang lagi2…
ANOTHERRRRRRRRRR NIGHTMARREE!! and this is the worstttt among all!
ah tidakk mao nangis rasanya liat mall ini pnuh bgt(trakhir ke PVJ, uda kek mall milik sendiri. hahaha..)
ya gila jaa..
mao masuk antre, dah gitu mao parkir aja ngantri..
uhhh.. bikin kekiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhh…..
pas uda dapet parkir, kita cabz masuk mall cari makan..
abis makan2 kita memutuskan pulang dan jam menunjukkan pukul 9an malam! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
bisa gilaa..
ditambah di parkiran, mo keluar dr parkiran oh tidakkk! ruwet!
30menitan di sana sendiri..
keterlaluan bener2 itu mall sih..
bikin gue enek ma naek pitam bgt…
uda acak2an parkirannya, ga ada yg mao ngalah, pada seenak jidad..
mana kecil amaddd…
ah tuh untung aja bukan gue yang nyetir..
hahahaha…
gue tidak punya kesabaran lebih seperti davin..

saluteeeee….
yaahhhhh.. pas di tol juga maceeeeeeeeeet…
ujung2nya gue sampe rumah jem 2.38am dengan lemas dan super ngantukk…………….
but hey, it was fun ..
yahh.. jadilah hari ini gue bangun jem 6 pagi, dengan mual2 sakit kepalaaaa, tidur lagi..
bangun lg jem 8 dengan hal yg sama..
dan trakhir jem 1/2 11 bangun bener2 bangun dan yepppp..
gue tau nih gejala2 ga beresssss karena guee.. masuk angin!
im so thankful…
May 18, 2008 ·

huaaa…
sudah 20 tahun!
well, so many years passed by..
20 tahun gue idup ga bentaarrr…
haha..
well klo ditanya kesan pesan nginjek umur 20…
hhahaha…
honestly gue sdikit age syndrome x…
keknya ga rela ninggalin kepala angka 1…
haha..
kayaknya angka 2 itu cukup "tua" buat gue..
well it’s not just bout the number itself..
it’s about how im about to live my life…
me, myself..
expect myself to be more mature…
hhahaha..
but who knows?
dari sananya gue memang kek anak kecil baru kluar dr taman kanak kanak..
hahahahahahahahaha…
gue kebiasa idup kek anak kecil..
haha hehe n sometimes take things not seriously..
*smug*
(sering diomelin bonyok krn kebiasaan jelek itu. huahaha..)
review tahun trakhir gue di umur 19 tahun lalu..
gue belajar untuk jadi seseorang yg berumur kepala 2.
hahaha..
gue mulai coba untuk jadi dewasa dalam cara berpikir dan hidup..
tp trnyata tough…
tp apa sih yg gue ga bisa lakuin? :D
i always try my best..
jadiii gue rasa nti perlahan2 gue berubah dengan sendirinya..
well maybe appearance gue, cara gue bersikap, im childish, and probably will be like tht in couple years later..
hahaha…
tp gue bersyukur bgt sama God krn gue bisa berpikir dan nyikapin masalah lebih dewasa dr tahun2 yg lalu..
well, kemaren tgl 17.05.08 tepat gue masukin kepala 2..
hahaha…
seneng juga seharian diperlakuin n ngerasa spesial..
apalagi ada org yg bener2 perlakuin gue super spesial..
(:
*ga biasa2 nya tuuhhh dapet special affection dr org yg satu ini*
makanya seneng bgt kemaren seharian..
hihihihihihihi…
not tht i love him in ordinary days, but yesterday was waaaayyy too sweet… hahaha…
kemaren pagi2 bangun suda banyak sms dan miss call..
hahaha…
apalagi my sista, nita, yg mara2 karena dibilang telpnya ga di gubris..
padahal jujur sekali saya sudah tidur sebelon jem 12.
krn hari jumat nya gue cape bgt..
heuheuhuehuheu…
*sori dong sis gue ga angkat usaha mu mengucapkan ulang taun yg pertama*
huehuehuehue…
pasti bertanya2 loh pacar saya itu kemana..
sama seperti pacarnya, pacar saya pun ketiduran sebelon jem 12..
hahahahahahaha…
well klo dulu pasti gue ngamuk2..
tp toh dia pernah bilang, ga penting kan siapa yg ucapin pertama ato trakhir, tp yg penting adalah SIAPA yg ucapin..
well he got the point.. :S
bangun tidur gue kluar kamar, smuaaaa isi rumah ucapin happy bday (tmasuk anjing gue yg kegirangan kek anjing kesurupan begitu liat gue kluar kamar)
hwahwahwaa…
itulah anjing gue yg ajaib nan keren kek tuannya..
tau ajee klo gue ulang taun..
hihihihihihi… *sweet huh?*
abis itu lagi2 lmyn banyak sms yg masuk..
huehuehue..
gpp deh biarpun ada yg lupa..
wkwkwkwkwkwkw……..
trs rada siangan gue diminta nyokap temenin nyokap have lunch sm temen2nya…
abis itu temenin nyokap ini itu sampe uda jem 5 an…
gue santai2 di depan tipi sambil nunggu kabar dr vin yg notabene lg les *cabe de*…
eh jem 6 di sms..
rada keki siih nunggu kabar dr dia, ditambah pake nanya "emg kita mo kemana mel?"
bah!
gue pikir dia punya sumthing buat gue hari maren..
ternyata seperti itu..
mengecewakan..
wahahaha…
tp gue masi sabar toh mood gue sedang amat sangat baik..
lagian yg penting kan gue bisa ketemu dia dan bisa jalan brg..
(:
abis dia kasi kabar, gue nge rush mandi n siap2..
lumayan pusing mikirin mo pake apa..
hahahahahahahahha…… :D
well jem 7 an ini anak sampe…
*dasar manusia super sibuk!*
weeh..
dasar paling pandaiii..
tau aja gue sukanya dia pake apa..
eh dipake ma dia.
hihihihihihihihihihihi…
*mule cengar cengir deh gue ngliat pacar nongol depan pintu rumah dengan outfit kesukaan gue, ditambah kejutan kok tumben pake spatu segalaa!*
abis itu dasar ni pacar kurang ajar *tapi gue sayang*, dia malah ikutan kluarga gue nonton badminton! bukannya mikirin mo pegi kemana..
ajah…
bener2..
abis itu nykp ajakin potong2 kue ma poto2 dulu..
abis itu ada adegan dimana gue bingung mo pake alas kaki apa..
akhirnya gue bawa 2 biji alas kaki, abis bingung..
hahahahahahaa..
setelah kluar dr komplex, dipikir2, dirunding2, dengan sedikit pertimbangan geje..
akhirnya kita ke pacific place…
wkwkwkwkwkwkw..
sekalian menghilangkan ke katro an kita bedua..
:D
wahhhh bukannya lebi gampang menemukan dining place disini..
kita bedua malah bingung..
makaan apaa yaaaa, dimanaaa yaa…???
setelah muterin lante 4 n 5 *yg notabene tmpt kumpulnya resto2* sampe berkali2, akhirnya memutuskaaann mam italian food..
hwehwe…
ini nih dimana gue ditipu mentah2 ma pacar sndiri *kurang ajaar!*
di tengah2 nungguin makanan dateng, vin blg dompetnya ketinggalan (well okay, ga kayak biasanya, dan agak aneh seorang davin arnando sutanto ketinggalan dompetnya di mobil. tp dasarnya gue bego x, pecaya aja, akhirnya ijinin dia balik ke parkiran)
lama pula.. kan lumayan jauh…
akhirnya dia balik2, sambil cengar cengir bawa 1 tas..
wah feeling gue ga demeenn ni.. ditipu dah gue…
dengan sebaal gue intip aja bawaan dia apa..
WAH BENAR2!
dengan alibi dompet ketinggalan rupanya dia punya lil surprise buat gue…….
dia bawain gue cake!
gosh……
this is why i loveeee him soo much…
paliing pinter bikin kejutan simple di saat n timing yg tepat..
haha…
gue ga expect dia sampe bawa itu kue..
yg begonya kenapa gue bisa ga liat dia umpetin gituaan di mobilnyaa! uhhhhhh….
*ketipu 2x sejak tgl 7 juli taun lalu! emg gue bego x ya*
hwahwahwa…
okee, gue akuin deh jagonya ini org…
n again, i melted by his simple surprise..
terharuu laah gileee…
wkwkwkwkwkw….
yg lebi sweet n mendukung adalah karena resto itu uda mo tutup, sisa kita bedua..
hahahahahaha…
kesannya kek VIP..
:D
*VIP yg tinggal nunggu diusir ma pelayan resto itu.. hahahaha*
well abis itu kita pulang dengan senangnyaa..
dan dengan ending gue berharap gue bisa ulang taun tiap hari dan masih sama2 vin sampe seterusnya.. (:
makasih mbe, u mean the worlldddddd to meee.. :D