Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Bad Relationship.

Most of the time I find myself questioning the idea of "why the hell people bother............"
Bothering in many different ways.
Like, love life, LIFE itself, basically almost everything.
Some people say that people bother because they care. Really?
I thought people bother because they are just basically NOSY.
People are so phony that they just want to know every little detail just to make sure they run their mouths about it.
You see, it's human basic nature to KNOW about everything, to be CURIOUS about everything.
But what happens in my life recently, is actually people trying to step into my life without considering whether it's affecting me or not, whether they understand or not.
It doesn't matter to them if they do not understand the idea or what it feels like, what matters the most is that they acknowledge something that is required - in which i really have no idea why people are so eager to find out about other's life.
Seriously, I don't really care if one get married, have baby, get divorced, and re-married.
Most people find it daunting or revolting, but really?
How do you see it?
Do you see it from YOUR life point of view - in which throughout your life you have never experienced anything close to that kind of shit?
Do you see it from the way you try to empathize or pity that particular person?
EITHER way won't work.
Because the idea of YOU, trying to empathize is just not enough, not even close.
There is a big difference in experiencing the actual shit and just trying to embrace and put yourself in that situation.
No matter how sensitive you are, you just can't.
In the end what you would actually give is mere pity and casual sympathy.

Simplest example, when people find out you break up with somebody, the first question pops up is: HOW COME?
seriously? "How come" is like you stab someone's flesh and ask "how does it feel?"
IT IS OBVIOUS that something happened.
The next question after answering that first silly question is: WHO BROKE WHO?
This is tricky.
When a girl breaks up with a boy, people will see either this girl is seeing somebody else or the boy is a jerk so she breaks up with him.
Can't there be any other possibilities?
Possibility #1: she is a jerk and he is a victim.
Possibility #2: he is a jerk and she is too. So it is equal.
Possibility #3: false alarm. They thought they were meant to be but appeared not in the end.
Possibility #4: both decision because they are smart enough to stop stupid relationship that has no future.
Possibility #5: she's fed up with ever-changing-no-future-situation that makes her waste her time or vice versa.
and millions other possibilities that I am too lazy to wander around.

But then the next question or statement, or anything that will pop up is: WHY CAN'T YOU WORK THINGS OUT? CAN'T THERE BE ANOTHER CHANCE FOR YOU TWO TO GET BACK TOGETHER?

It's like coming back to the first question ever. Like it's not clear enough why two break up in the first place.
It's like asking "is it painful?" when you sprinkle salt into open wound.

What happened to me is that people find out I broke him up and they start to question "why did i do that", "what happened during the last 5 years?", "can't you work things out?", "how does it make him feel?", "do you still love him?", "does he feel okay about it?" and so on.

But is it fulfilling their needs if i answer all of those questions?
Not a slight chance.
They will keep asking me questions and giving me statements which make me want to rip my heart out and smack it into their faces. (sarcasm alert)

The worst statement that still lingers in my brain is when one person said: You mistreated him badly.
Right, of course it's me.
I'm the one who broke him up.
I'm the one who is seeing another man.
and I'm the bad guy.

But then do I care?
*laughing like hyena*
I only care when people say things when they even forget to put their brains on.
It's merely stupid statement that I find very intriguing to discuss.

People can be so offensive, so why can't I?

Who went through the last 5 years?
Who felt every littlest detail for the last 5 years?
Who knew how difficult it was to figure every way out?
Who understood the feeling of being in that relationship?

Do I waste my time? NO.
I don't think the last 5 years all I did was wasting my time.
He once made me fall head over heels.
He once showed me how to laugh and cry.
It's fair enough I spent the last 5 years to understand what kind of relationship I really want.
It's worth this understanding, what I want and what I don't want.
It made me stronger and wiser.
And what makes me extremely thankful is how it made me finally found someone who can fulfill those empty gaps throughout the past few years.

Bad relationship makes you understand what good relationship feels like.
Bad relationship makes you understand that you are strong enough to stand on your on feet.
Bad relationship shows that there is a better person out there.
Bad relationship shows that you are more than capable of getting closer to the perfect one.
Bad relationship shows how awesome your ability to survive is.
Bad relationship makes you learn that tears are only for those who worth it.
Bad relationship makes you learn that you are not alone who goes through hell.
But most important things is that, bad relationship is a mere stepping stones to happily ever after (: