Thursday, September 30, 2010

my job(less) is not my career

so i finished reading this book titled, "Your Job Is Not Your Career" by Rene Suhardono, couple days ago

well actually i finished reading it in couple hours after i opened it..
it's just, i've been taking some times to understand it bits by bits and to relate it with my own thoughts

Suhardono is a great writer (and coach) in a way that only by reading his book, i am supposing that i have a better understanding in what i am passionate about
and by reading his writings, i can feel the emotion, the passion, that he is trying to deliver to the readers
isn't it great?
imagining that one day i could learn from Rene Suhardono himself
it's going to be a super WOW!
i bet i could get the OPPORTUNITY one day

simply say, the book is (from my interpretation) telling people, not to see what's wrong with their job life, but to see, to look clearly and transparent, what is their passion
because from knowing what our passion is, it'll lead to many things that is related to our own future life

because knowing our passion, we will surely know what we are going to do with our life
and by knowing it, automatically we know what to do to achieve the goal of our passion

for me, myself

after reading the book i feel like i need some things to be made clear
i need to sort some stuffs

first few pages of the book says
Are you happy with your career?
Are you happy with your life?
Do you care?

for all those questions i can yell out loud YES! for every each of them

so i begin to question myself

i care with all of those things because by doing things i love the most i believe i could reach the BEST in my life, in everything
and surely the result will be the best as well, as for me, for everybody, and for the world
seems so HUGE but actually it starts from little

Suhardono also mentions couple things that is so common in life
in everyday life
such as people usually introduce themselves by name then followed by their title or their job or whatsoever
it happens! seriously

maybe it is not exactly like that
but for me the situation would be like this

*meeting my parent's friends in any place*
people: hi, who are you?

me: hi, i am melissa

people: oh hi melissa, nice to meet you

me: nice to meet you too
*awkward quick silence*
people: well so, what are you doing melissa? are you in school or are you working?

me: well i just graduated few months back

people: oh, i see.. where did you graduate from? and which faculty?

me: i graduated from lasalle bla bla bla.. and i graduated from fine arts

people: so are you working now or....?

me: well......................

now what's so important about knowing what i am working on/at?
than knowing myself as myself? as melissa andriani?

i am not constructed by what i am working on/at
i am not me because what i am graduated from or from my title as BA HONS IN FINE ARTS
no i am not.

instead of asking me those boring questions
why can't people ask me: oh melissa, so what do you like the most? or what are you passionate about?

isn't it more challenging and interesting?

boring boring boring
i am bored with ordinary questions!

so stop asking me or defining who i am with those questions people! (:

next few pages, Rene, asks about the reason why people are working
is it about filling time?
religious matter?

easy on it..
i am not working just yet
and i am not intending to do it

so i begin to twist the question,
why am i going to do what i want to do?
first of all,
it is because i like what i do
it is because YES we need money, not to live, not to prove other people, and not simply to repay my "debt" to my parents,
i need money because i need it to fill my bank account so that anytime i want to use it, i will have it..
no seriously i am still not sure why i need money

well maybe because i don't have extra mouth to feed just yet :D

people all over the world who want to boo me because of my statement, go ahead
like i care :P

"if you take the attitude that what you have is what you need to make you happy, you will be happy! happiness is here and now." - your job is not your career pg. 38 by rene suhardono

just to be a reminder for myself
in the book, rene tells the readers that,
on passion, your strength is (not) what you're good at.
it is what you enjoy the most!
it's your passion

so while i was reading the book, i kept thinking
what i enjoy the most during the last 4 years i spent in school?

it's always been there in my deepest heart and mind and soul

i am so passionate about food

yes, food

can't i be passionate about it?
well hey i can be passionate about anything in this universe or even about something that may not even exist
but still, it is SOMETHING

food can be beautiful!
food can be an object
food can be addictive like drugs
food can be colorful
food can be anything!
seriously think about it
isn't food fun?

by eating good delicious food, people can feel happy(at least i do)
by creating good food that people love, i feel happy!

but food isn't only meaningful for human being
food is also meaningful for any living creatures in this world
even plankton needs food
virus needs food (i guess so? hehehe)

so if so many people fulfilling human's appetite and taste palette
so many human beings' tongues are spoiled by delicious foods
why can't animals feel the same?
and i am passionate about pets as well, esp. dogs

so isn't it a great combination?
two different but related passions i have, lead me to a great dream and ambition
in fulfilling what pets dogs need in spoiling their tastebud?

but to reach the goal and dream,
i really need to work hard
harder than before

moreover in the book,
rene expects the readers to write down our enthusiasms

here's mine:

dogs                             learning new things           
          ferran adria!
           foods                         art making
traditional culture
    sweets                        bears!!!!!
                           sports                activity of shopping
           travelling to a new place              
singing                 poetry                       
                                                connecting with people
       music                  trying new foods
 challenge!     writing blogs

and according to Kazuo Inamori,

success consists of three elements:
so none of them should be in a negative pole
everything should be in a positive pole and balance together

and the best part is
rene summarizes everything:

1. work according to our passion - if we want to work according to passion, we must find what our passion is in the first place. there is no other way than to open ourselves, interaction with others, and keep looking/finding.
2. think the best that we can give/contribute - everything will be impossible for those who never try. we never know what is the best we can contribute until we really try.
3. make a plan to reach the goal - the devil is in the details.

4. find the finishing time -  a good plan violently executed today is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.
5. have fun!

-- rene suhardono, pg. 133

"the glass is either half empty or half full"

our interpretation and attitude determine the goal, the outcome
be positive and always telling ourselves that people won't let us down just because we are doing what we really love the most!!!!!!
enjoy what we are doing and as rene suhardono said in rule no 5, HAVE FUN!


good day people


i wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
i know exactly how life (of my parents) was when things weren't as easy as now (well it's still not easy like 1,2,3 and i can get anything i want. it's not like we can't have everything, it's just we VALUE things and be grateful with what we've gone through so far)

so i often wonder....
what does it feel like, life, when you were born with silver spoon in your mouth?

i do not envy those people, no i don't and i never once
i am so grateful with what i have and what my parents have given me so far

i always get what i need and what they think i do need

i learn from mistakes, that, parents (similar to GOD) knows what we really need and what we merely just want

and i am thanking God for having parents like i do have in my current life

and i am grateful that i am able to live my life for 22 years with my parents beside me

but yet sometimes i do wonder...
for some(several) people, whom i know and do not know...
how they are easily (seemingly) thinking that money and such material things are just simply a reaching hand away
i mean, some people can just easily spend money like crazy
talk about things that they REALLY really really want to buy, eager to buy, madly want to buy
just because they can.

i mean what's the point in showing off
in showing other people that they are able
they can afford anything
any latest fashion in the world
latest gadget in this universe
as if once they own that, people will literary worshiping them (well some people do anyway)

but why?

have those people heard about poverty going on, on the other side of THEIR world?
there's no single piece of jealousy attached while i am writing this
it's just i know, I AM AWARE
some people (i know) in this world need THE money that those people spent more than anything

 life isn't fair, it'll never be
i do not expect those people would be delightedly spare their money for people who need it
no i don't.

i just wish people should be more aware with what is around them and see things differently

i really do not care if your parents are as rich as they could buy this earth
i really do not care if you can buy latest gadget in a minute after it is being released
i really do not care if you can buy any clothes in the world
i really don't.

if you really wanna do all those things,
keep it yourself
no need to showing it off

no need to spreading words to the entire universe that you are buying this that, purchasing this that
i never once befriend someone because of their clothes, their wealth, their ability to purchase anything, their gadget, their ability to go vacation to outter space

and i appreciate people for what they do not what they have
just for once,

we have any day in a year
mother's day
father's day
children's day
valentine's day

can we have, just one day in a year
respecting those whom in need
by giving away charity, every single human being in the entire world
care for others.....
can we?

in this materialistic world?


Friday, September 10, 2010

the ugly duckling

Dear dad,

I may not be a stunning beautiful swan who has her wings spread just yet
But I am trying to be one

I may have not made you proud just yet
But I promise you one thing for sure that I will make you proud sooner or later

I may not doing things as you wish for
Since I have my own methods in doing something
But I know what I am doing and I will make it work

I may not be a normal daughter like other proud parents have
I do things on my own
It's just a little bit slow and sometimes disconserted

I always try not muttering about how hard life is
Because I already know life is hard but we have to keep fighting

I always try not mumbling about how I have failed so many times in doing what I do
Because I know I have to try harder

It's not that I don't want to try hard
It's not that I don't want to make your life harder with me being here, useless

I want to be something
I want to be everything
I want to make you proud
I want to make you happy
And I do want to make things right for myself

But you never taught me how to
I completely lost sometimes and I need help

Can I get advice instead of things that makes me completely down?
Can I get help that will improve my baby steps til I full grown?

I never blame you for once in my life
I see you as my savior, my hero in any circumstances
Not because you are my dad, it's because you are a savior, you are a hero

If only I could have your faith just a little
And give me a little more time to do what I've been doing
And patiently wait for me to succeed and change everything
I would do anything to get that

Am I not making you proud just a little along these times?

Even so....
Just wait for me until I become the astonishing swan when I fully grown up

With love,

The ugly duckling

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


I spend hours just to make sure I look beautiful or at least I might catch your heart again
Yet you never once told me that I am beautiful, though you could just lie

I often insist I would want to come along with you while you are doing your business, just to get myself close to you
Yet you never once realized

I always hope you could show in front of my door and carry dozen of white roses like you used to, I do try to give a clue
But I always end up telling you what to do
Yet you never do it for me

I most of the time say things I never meant to say
Yet you never learned and believed every single thing I say

I often say I don't want to see you again just because I want you to beg me not to, simply because I want to feel needed
Yet you always think I do want to not seeing you ever again and you get mad

I often hurt myself and tell you how painful the scar is just because I want you to stop mad at me and start care about me
Yet you think how stupid I am and how ridiculous my act is

I often beg you to always hold my hand whenever we walk together
Yet most of the time you just walk in front of me and leave me behind

I always hope you could be the first person wishing me happy birthday at exact 12am
Yet you failed all the time and said it is not something important

I never hear sweet things I long to hear
I never feel how much improved you are in sensing my feeling
I never thought you can finally say that I only pretend to love you all these time
I never thought you can finally leave me alone
I never thought you can finally stop caring about me

Yet I still cry after you
I think about you
And I wish you could just show up and hug me

Tell me if this isn't love

Thursday, September 2, 2010

scratches on time being.

the roads are getting smaller
it's like a tiny little something yet unreachable

everything's breaking into mess
sky is getting nearer and nearer and nearer

when i am surrounded by clouds that's when i know
i could no longer hold back
i could not regret what i have said, done, or decided

next thing i know when i hit the ground
safely and sound

i know i cannot turn my head back

when nothing makes me feel good,
when nothing goes smooth
when everything goes wrong

i walk
and i walk
i walk

no matter if i walk away 
or if i walk through another door
or even walk out

i will simply walk

humor me.

humor me
i began to dry fastly

im so used to solitude
i barely hung on someone or anybody
no it's just not me

maybe in solitude i find peace
maybe i find serenity

or maybe i just skip troubles and being peacefully isolated

yet everytime i try to isolate myself from what's surrounding me
i begin to drown in deeper

i drag myself along the play
and i am devastated

the crowd is the beginning,
the starting point
so why do i always end up alone?

i wonder why.

i guess it's the nature.
we born alone, we die alone.
in the midst the crowd is there

it's killing me

i don't bother for anyone who is wanting to comfort me
the silence is not calming me anymore

the fear is creeping towards me
set me free
set me free