Monday, March 28, 2011

random doodles.

i love doodling like maniac.....
i think beside from its ability to keep me busy, doodle also good to brush up my sketching/drawing skill
alas i guess it's just boredom turns to creative slavery

so here are rubbish, ahem, i mean valuable treasure i did when i am bored, well these are from internship period
see, the more i get bored, the more creative i am :p

Saturday, March 26, 2011

expect, expectation, be expected.

people will always be expecting something from you.

that one sentence is what i believe that everybody agree with

you know it happens every single time in your life, in our lives
i realize all my life since i was little girl people expect something from me
when i was small people used to say, "kapan sekolah?"
when i went to school then people said, "kapan masuk sd?"
when i went to elementary school back then i was so petite that i was DIFFERENT from my other cousins or other children so people said, "aduh kok kurus banget sih, ga dikasih makan ya... kapan gedenya?"
when i went to junior high school and gained some weight and puberty issue people added more issue by saying, "wah gemukan ya sekarang, jerawatnya banyak banget yah"
then i went to (another little hell on earth) senior high school back then people said, "mau kuliah dimana nanti, ambil apa"
when it came to the time i decided to pursue my study in singapore people then underestimated me by saying "ah kuliah jauh-jauh ngapain, gaya banget"
when i graduated from my college and went back to indonesia another saying was, "kenapa di indonesia kan disana aja enak gajinya gede bla bla bla blablablabla........................................................

how people can never be satisfied with YOUR life.
but it is not the negativity i would like to talk about here and now....
not that.

neither the positivity...
i am talking about OUR ATTITUDES toward it

i know, i am not a successful individual in handling this issue
not that i never cried over it or whined about it
i did
i do, i still do
but i try not to

because no matter what we do or what we choose in our lives, we can never satisfy other people's expectation

life is always about expectation, goal, aims, outcome
stop listening to others
listen to our hearts
what we want to pursue is our expectation, is what we should expect
we can't expect people to understand what we want
because we, each individual is COMPLEX
no one is able to understand us thoroughly
if so, why don't we just learn to appreciate who we are, what we are and treasure it
because we, each of us is special
we are not born with no intention in this life
i believe in that

darn i don't really know why am i writing this
babbling about this
but i just want to remind myself that I AM SPECIAL
those who are reading this ARE SPECIAL
so never forget that

people should never prohibit or prevent someone from doing something good for themselves
because if someone never tries, they will never know what the future holds
you can't really ride a bike if you never fall from it
we become a pro when we know the structure, the step by step, the progress, the process
the ups and downs
the roller coaster ride..................
happy saturday people! (:

Sunday, March 20, 2011

how are you?

i miss blogging, i miss you all so so so so so super so so so so much!

yay i finally am freeeeeee as bird in the sky lalala o lalalala :D
been busy like crazy bee
but now yeaaahhhh whooplaaah i am free, back to freedom (not really but at least who the hell cares now! YAY!)

like i said million times (yeah like i ever did haha) BUSY IS GOOD, but only when your body can handle it

first question that probably is going to be asked:
Q: So how's your internship experience?
A: GRRRReat! can you all believe i finally feel accepted in that creative department? i received farewell gift last friday (which made me kinda sad and broken hearted a little) i really did not expect anything in the first place i went there, i did everything by PASSION.... i loved all i had done... (though was not an exception once or twice i whine about how frustrated my internship life was) but i did did did DID my best in doing all the projects (:

another Q that probably pops up in your all mind is,
Q: what you're gonna do next?
A: errhmhhh... i don't know, i really don't.. what i planned is a definite short break (i suppose it's more like holiday present for myself for accomplishing everything) i miss SG so much
i really do, and i can't believe i am admitting it.
i miss the freedom walking on the street whole day long
wandering around
i miss Cindy
i long to see Stanley,  it's like million years since last time i spoke to him
i miss school
i miss going to library (GEEK!)
i miss all the good quality foods i could get over there
i miss all fun things i used to do there

i really should book a ticket soon! (:

to think about all now.. it feels like, life has changed
like things are not the same anymore
like i literary feel the earth is rotating
like time is going so fast
like...........................i am lost
not really lost
but somewhere i am searching for something to hold on to
like i suddenly go blind
like i lose a grip

is it because i spent so much time in doing internship?
but wouldn't it be valuable for me for my future anyway?
is it because i now so totally independent here in indonesia?
but not the same independent kind of i used to have in sg
is it because i really do grow up?
if growing up really feels like this
then i say it's weird.
what a weird feeling!

maybe i should make a brand new plan
since i am now so free
so many things i want to do
  1. take vocal lesson
  2. do mural by the vineyard at home
  3. continue my jewelry making
  4. re-train caesar
  5. buy a new camera and take photography lesson
phew i really am not capable of thinking any of it right now on
i guess i overworked, overused my brain
need a break and then plan new agenda (:

am so tired now
be back real soon (:

♥ meL