Thursday, September 10, 2009

time to heal…
March 14, 2008 ·

I know the art of paintings and how to make it looks damn good
I know the art of making a good drawing
I also know the art of converting my feelings into words
But why I don’t know anything about love?
I don’t know how to make everything goes smoothly
I don’t know how to make my feeling steady
Do you know how it feels like…?
Being weirdo and hurt by someone you love?
Then you act even more weird and make you hurt even more
But you don’t even feel like telling him what you feel and what should he does to make everything’s fine and back to normal?
Because too afraid of being seen as a weird person who doesn’t belong with him?
Because knowing that what you think is different from him?
Because what you feel is also different from him?
What if “sorry” is even too easy to say until you cry for it?
Until every time you say it your tear falls
Maybe I’m wrong
Or maybe I pretend that I’m wrong
Do you even understand how does it feel longing for a nice smooth conversation, where I talk burst about everything I feel and you listen to me and never cut my words with your excuse?
Not words that come from you as your defenses?
How does it feel that you don’t understand me and neither do I?
How does it feel stay beside someone that you suddenly don’t know about?
What hurts the most is not; love someone too much then have so much to say and see that person walk away
Is when you love and stay with someone who loves you too but you’re helpless to speak out and he doesn’t even know what makes you sad nor what he did that hurt you, while he thinks it is the best he ever done
While he thinks it’s the right thing to do?
Now tell me what to do then…
And then tell me what am I to you?

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