Monday, January 28, 2013

Once Upon A Time.

I am 25 and I am not married.

What's the big deal?
Many people are getting married after 25 or even in their 30s.
So what's the big deal?

The deal is probably not big but sure there are a few.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who dreamed to have a beautiful man, a beautiful dress, and a beautiful place to get married. And they lived happily ever after.

Sounds familiar?
I bet.

But in reality, it bites you in ass, big time.
Marriage used to be so easy.
It's either your parents chose your mate or you met your "The One" and got married.
Economical issue has been playing big part in today's society.
Many things related to financial have become major issue in why people nowadays are getting married in late age compared to years back.

Maybe it's true.
Maybe marriage is not always about love.
Marriage takes two people in love, and bunch of big families to dwell, and of course money to make it happen.

What if you don't have the money?
You earn it with sweat and blood.

What if you don't have "The One"?
Find it.

What if there's a problem with big families?
Solve it.

Oh God I wish it were that easy.
Oh wait, maybe it is, that easy.
Maybe we complicate things, no?

Once upon a time there was a little girl who dreamed to have a beautiful man, a beautiful dress, and a beautiful place to get married. But as years went by, she had no idea her dream would be one day become disheartening. That little girl had become a grown up woman who had better and clear vision of what her dream was about. She wanted it to become real as soon as possible because after all, she was a woman. She had vision, ambition, big dream, and good plan to accomplish that. But, one day she realized that her dream takes more than herself to achieve. She needed someone, her other half, to reach that dream. She had second thought whether this man she had been dating with was the right one or not. Because if he were, wouldn't it be easy? As time went by like speed of light. She saw her dream slowly faded after some times. But she kept on persistent with what she believed in. So she pushed, she asked for it, and she demanded it. But she forgot that, again, it takes more than herself to accomplish this task. One day she knew everything would disappear as she blinked away. She did. She chose to. Probably because she had no choice left. When that day came, she smiled and told herself "Hey, this isn't so bad, maybe next year. Maybe. Who knows? Who knows what the future holds." And she kept believe in, although she began to doubt the thought of it. Another year passed by and she saw her dream crashed, landed in pieces in front of her eyes, again. And again, she smiled and told herself, "It's okay. It won't be too long. You just have to be patient and wait. Because patient brings fruitful joy." And so that what everybody was telling her. So she listened. Because she knew there was no way she could run to grasp the dream. One day she asked the same question again, just to reassure how it was going to be. When it was going to happen. Because after all, what she needed was just security and assurance --a proof, a visible proof, that it was going to happen, for real. So that she had something to keep in mind, something she carried along to face her bright future, her days. Something she could believe in. Something that made her trust her dream, trust people, and trust reality. Something that she could smile about for every single day. Something she had to fight for. Something she hold on. But I guess what she wanted was too much. She began to think, it was not going to happen. She began to think, she was such a maniac, a lunatic, a silly human being who kept on thinking about the dream. Rather than creating path to get there. Poor her, she was so naive. One year had passed. She began to learn how to shut her dream down and moved on. But reality really bit her. Questions came. She was not even ready. She just didn't want to answer. Because she had no something she wished she had. She never blamed anybody else for what had happened. Because she knew it very well, it was not easy so she wouldn't want to push any further. Her dream crashed and so did she. She once wondered if she would eventually meet her beautiful man, beautiful dress, and beautiful place to grasp her dream. But she then told herself, "Look, it's impossible. Just forget it. It has hurt you so much. Why would you want to hurt yourself even more? You know it very well it is not easy. And you know it too well, it takes more than who you are, what you are, yourself, to achieve that. And who are you, being able to control every single effing things on this earth? You are just a naive and a dreamer. And have some dignity in you. You are a woman, a grown up woman, for Godsake. Just live in reality. Face it. Grow up!" And so she did. Would she live happily ever after by herself? Who knows. Who knows what the future holds. All she had in mind is how to keep her heart from being broken again. Not a slightest chance. The end.