Wednesday, September 8, 2010

1189

I spend hours just to make sure I look beautiful or at least I might catch your heart again
Yet you never once told me that I am beautiful, though you could just lie

I often insist I would want to come along with you while you are doing your business, just to get myself close to you
Yet you never once realized

I always hope you could show in front of my door and carry dozen of white roses like you used to, I do try to give a clue
But I always end up telling you what to do
Yet you never do it for me

I most of the time say things I never meant to say
Yet you never learned and believed every single thing I say

I often say I don't want to see you again just because I want you to beg me not to, simply because I want to feel needed
Yet you always think I do want to not seeing you ever again and you get mad

I often hurt myself and tell you how painful the scar is just because I want you to stop mad at me and start care about me
Yet you think how stupid I am and how ridiculous my act is

I often beg you to always hold my hand whenever we walk together
Yet most of the time you just walk in front of me and leave me behind

I always hope you could be the first person wishing me happy birthday at exact 12am
Yet you failed all the time and said it is not something important


I never hear sweet things I long to hear
I never feel how much improved you are in sensing my feeling
I never thought you can finally say that I only pretend to love you all these time
I never thought you can finally leave me alone
I never thought you can finally stop caring about me

Yet I still cry after you
I think about you
And I wish you could just show up and hug me

Tell me if this isn't love

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