how thankful i am.

blessed.

perhaps that's the only word that can describe what i really feel right now.

but wait.
no... not completely.....

human's feeling is so funny that i feel blessed and screwed up at the same time

so should i smile or................. be crabby about this issues?

well first of all good thing always comes first eh? haha..

so i feel blessed because this afternoon when i was kind of officially "sign off" from the choir
the group gave me this goodbye gift which was so unexpectable

HEY I AM LOVEDDDD!!!

hahaha...

so yea, i nearly cried when i was reading the written text on this crystal ball thingy, which is

HEAVEN MUST HAVE SENT YOU

okay it's not merely SWEET but it's also the best non-solid (can i say it non-solid? haha) precious gift and moment has ever given to me

i mean....
sometimes words are really the strongest sword, in this context, to penetrate someone's heart....in a good way
hahaha i shall say it's touchy and sentimental~
and i loved it!!!!!!!
i heart sweet words and sayings hahahaha
no, not the cheesy ones ever! :p

so yea...
i am really surrounded by wonderful and nice people!
i love you guys so much
God bless~

 <3


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the other thing that happened today was
this particular person who was about to be the next tenant whom will replace me after i leave sg, called off
and yea, he postponed the payment of the deposit for 2 days
WITHOUT any confirmation

well people, seriously
if you want/not want something, tell the other party about your decision
DON'T WAIT for them to look for you and chase you around
cmon it's an adult life
youre no longer a kindergarten child who needs a guardian or at least someone to tell you what to do
GIMME SOME RESPECT MAN!

and i bet one day in your life if you keep this nasty habit of yours, im sure one day you'll meet someone who is as nasty as you and he/she wont give a damn about any excuses and will crush you into several small pieces which im sure a bird wont be able to pick any of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man im so pissed and upset bout this kind of person
so irresponsible

so sorry i dont give damn about your excuse
but at least let me know if youre cancelling
so i could find other people who really are interested in my place so i dont waste my time dealing with person like you

man............................... HORRIBLE!

seriously people..
learn some manners and etiquette!

coz if i can do it, why can't you??

this is life.....tough life..

Dan aku terhenyak
Dan sejenak aku tertegun
tidak.... lama aku tertegun

betapa miris rasanya.....
di kota besar dan "sukses" seperti ini
masih ada orang yang benar-benar membutuhkan barang-barang bekas dari orang lain

dan aku sungguh terhenyak oleh kenyataan bahwa masing-masing negara pasti punya sebuah luka gores kecil walau sehebat apapun tebalnya keindahan yang menutupi luka itu

dan aku sungguh-sungguh merasakan perihnya
merasakan bagaimana rasanya bisa memberi orang lain yang benar-benar membutuhkan

aku selalu tahu Bapa tak pernah diam, Bapa tak pernah berhenti mendengar, Ia tak pernah tidur
pakai aku jadi alatmu......
pakai aku untuk mengukir senyum orang lain
pakai aku untuk membahagiakan orang lain...

dan aku tahu...
walau kecil, walau tak seberapa...
untuk orang lain akan bermakna sangat sempurna....

if i could be the last nicest person standing on earth, i'd take a chance to do it.

i feel so emotionally drained and moody lately...
ever since i lost my bb, it seems like i've been turning upside down..
the blood gets clogged in my head......not in brain

i am aware that i am insane and perfectly okay
but in one second i can be so emotionally bursting out and my mood swings all of sudden

so, no....i am not okay.....i guess?

i hope it is just a temporary effect of learning new lesson in life
that world is cruel (hey i knew it since long time ago: but heyyy i never learned!)

so yes..
world is cruel
people are cruel
life is cruel (well depends on which point are you looking at?)

in conclusion world is cruel, everything is cruel nowadays
yes if you are so kind and nice......................................and careless HA!

well i guess what i am muttering about is just a normal, plain, so called ordinary issue that is happening in life

but wait.......

sometimes plain, normal, ordinary, and even small issue is the one that people always ignore.....

have you ever noticed, how many kind-hearted person you met today?
how many nice people who would happily help you out of some troubles without aiming for something for the rest of your life?

and how many times have you done that to other people until now?


it's tough, it's difficult to answer....
i know... because i feel that myself has not helped enough along these times....
i still often do stupid mistake or unconscious/consciously making other people sad, mad, angry because of what i have or not done..

i don't know really much about this world, no.

but i know one thing for sure because i've been through this before
and this one thing is, whenever you help somebody whether they ask for it or not, the joyful feeling that overwhelms you afterward is much more rewarding than any money in the world!

seeing people smile because i helped them so much is more valuable than anything and i'd gladly do that everytime!

but i always know, God never sleeps. no He never does

i know i've been a fool for many times, many years........
i know people might have used me because i am naive and clueless and careless
yes i know, i am aware of every single foolish acts i have been doing for the rest of my life

but what is so wrong for being nice and kind-hearted if it does make me happy and joyful inside?

and if i can do it, why can't other people?