if i could be the last nicest person standing on earth, i'd take a chance to do it.

i feel so emotionally drained and moody lately...
ever since i lost my bb, it seems like i've been turning upside down..
the blood gets clogged in my head......not in brain

i am aware that i am insane and perfectly okay
but in one second i can be so emotionally bursting out and my mood swings all of sudden

so, no....i am not okay.....i guess?

i hope it is just a temporary effect of learning new lesson in life
that world is cruel (hey i knew it since long time ago: but heyyy i never learned!)

so yes..
world is cruel
people are cruel
life is cruel (well depends on which point are you looking at?)

in conclusion world is cruel, everything is cruel nowadays
yes if you are so kind and nice......................................and careless HA!

well i guess what i am muttering about is just a normal, plain, so called ordinary issue that is happening in life

but wait.......

sometimes plain, normal, ordinary, and even small issue is the one that people always ignore.....

have you ever noticed, how many kind-hearted person you met today?
how many nice people who would happily help you out of some troubles without aiming for something for the rest of your life?

and how many times have you done that to other people until now?


it's tough, it's difficult to answer....
i know... because i feel that myself has not helped enough along these times....
i still often do stupid mistake or unconscious/consciously making other people sad, mad, angry because of what i have or not done..

i don't know really much about this world, no.

but i know one thing for sure because i've been through this before
and this one thing is, whenever you help somebody whether they ask for it or not, the joyful feeling that overwhelms you afterward is much more rewarding than any money in the world!

seeing people smile because i helped them so much is more valuable than anything and i'd gladly do that everytime!

but i always know, God never sleeps. no He never does

i know i've been a fool for many times, many years........
i know people might have used me because i am naive and clueless and careless
yes i know, i am aware of every single foolish acts i have been doing for the rest of my life

but what is so wrong for being nice and kind-hearted if it does make me happy and joyful inside?

and if i can do it, why can't other people?