indonesia tanah air beta~

.....and everything comes to an end

and i have been staying and studying in singapore for 4 years and i guess now is the time i go back to my home town, my beloved country

there are so many contradictions, pro and con about me having this decision to go back to indonesia
some say that job offers are much better here in singapore, some say that indonesia is a definitely best place to explore art

me?

i shall say YES to those who say that money and job is much more better here in singapore compared to indonesia... but whom am i trying to satisfy? myself? or other people?

people will always demand something for us and as if our lives are part of theirs..
well i dont say it's a bad thing but i know somewhere, somehow, i am able to reach my own beautiful goal and success..
and to reach that, i do not need peole who bring me down
i can stand on my own feet i shall say

i dont want to become a selfish and arrogant by saying that i don't want to work in a company/office like others do.
i dont see it as bad thing but i dont see it as good thing for me as well
well i have plenty options to choose, arent i right?

it's obvious that i need a monetary support to practice my art but i know somehow i can find a way, other way to succeed

sometimes am tired to answer question "when are you going to work?" or "what is your next plan?" just to hear the same thing from different people all over again

i do understand that getting job is the top priority in this life but just like uya kuya mentioned in today's show "hidup adalah pilihan jadi jangan menghakimi satu sama lain"
i trully believe that each of us has different path in earning success
it's a matter on how we want to pursue it in our life

ngomong-ngomong uya kuya
hari ini yang di hipnotis bencong dan ex-bencong
and i was quite fascinated by the fact that sometimes, those kinds of people are better than us, the so-called "normal"or shall i say ordinary people?

kalo bisa komen sih orang-orang begitu menurut gue jauh lebih beradab daripada yang ngaku2 manusia normal
emang di dunia cuma ada laki-laki atau perempuan
tapi coba dipikir lagi....
kadang kita suka menjudge apa yang orang lain lakuin/gak bisa lakuin karena kita sendiri belum pernah merasakan apa yang mereka rasakan

bisa jadi.....
orang-orang yang ngomong sama koar-koar kalo banci itu cuma manusia laknat dan sebagainya, menurut gue udah menjudge banci sebagai makhluk yang seharusnya ga Tuhan ciptain
tapi toh buktinya mereka nongol di muka bumi ini dan banyak dimana-mana
walau case nya beragam, dari yang dari berojol ke dunia uda memang begitu atau karena banyak alasan jadi mau berubah menjadi banci aja...
tapi regardless apapun alasannya, ga ada alesan buat ngejudge mereka atau memilah-milah mereka itu ciptaan yang layak/gak...

simplenya, mereka sama2 berbentuk manusia, ada kepala, badan, tangan kaki dll yang menurut gue adalah jelas termasuk cerminan Tuhan juga.. seperti apa yang ditulis di Alkitab bahwa Tuhan menciptakan manusia menurut rupa dirinya

sekarang begini aja..
andai dari dulu manusia dikategoriin jadi 3 macem, pria wanita dan banci, jelas ga akan mungkin kejadian banci dijadiin momok cemoohan orang kan?

sebenernya ga masalah mo dia ga normal atau ga layak hidup atau ga masuk ciptaan Tuhan, asal sesama manusia bisa hargain satu sama lain, ga akan ada yang namanya hal-hal buruk terjadi
sayangnya makin kesini, makin bertambah waktu, gue merasa moral dan etika orang bukannya makin baik malah makin ancur, makin parah.....

jarang gue liat ada orang nabrak atau lakuin kesalahan trus otomatis minta maaf...
biasa malah sibuk pelotot2an.....
kasarnya bisa dibilang emang "KALAU MAAF CUKUP, GA ADA KANTOR POLISI"

mungkin klo gue ini jadi pencipta segalanya yah, gue sulap aja semua jadi masa purba deh...
minus dinosaurus...
abisan manusia jaman sekarang kok yah jahat nya ga ketolongan....
mending klo jahat ga nimbrungin sesamanya..
ini udah jahat, melibatkan orang lain yang ga salah apa2 trus biasanya orang jahat itu jelek loh.....
hahahahahahaha....
(mengutip kata bokap gue aja deh..... yang kemaren ini lagi ngobrol nyeletuk "biasanya orang jelek itu banyak kejelekannya loh")

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earlier on this day, i went to church as usual for choir service and i did talk to the sopranos leader that i will be going back to indonesia for good by the end of this june
and i felt a slight tears in the corner of my both eyes
these 4 years have been great
people come and go in the choir but some are permanent residents of the choir loft which make me feel sad about leaving them

the choir in singapore is very different from indonesia which makes me feel horrible leaving them

but i gotta do what i have to do

maybe i'll find a good choir group that suits my style in indonesia and i am so sure i will! (:

2 more weeks is kinda fast i think
but yeah here i am so ready to leave this lion city and begin a new page of life in indonesia!
wish me luck people! (:

pissed off? I am. Angry? not really. sad? so-so.. but you are forgiven

i guess the best way to move on after terrible accident/matter is to forgive what has been done to you...
but truth to be told, no, i cant even forget the event happened to me yesterday....
soon, i will, but not for now i guess........

well..
i guess lessons to learned are..
that when you have suspicion after someone who looks literary suspicious, the best thing you can do are:
1. when you suspect someone, have a great bad feeling after his/her existence which seems so awkward... and he/she acts weird when they see you/have eye contact with you, the best thing to do to check whether he/she is the thief/not is to ask them bluntly, "I'm sorry, did you take my phone since you were right behind me?"
and see his/her response, if they look really nervous which i think they should be, then you have the right to shout to make noises and let the crowd hear you and if the person is getting more nervous, it's obvious that he/she is the one.

2. when you keep following this person everywhere and they seem so pointless, like nowhere to go or just go around circle here and there while doing something, which i guess to try calm themselves from being chased by the victim, keep following no matter what and ask your friend to find security or pretend to call your stolen phone even if it's in off mode.

3. pray more i guess.. since nothing we can do... just hope that you, yourself will get a peaceful life and good night sleep after the incident which totally sucks!

well the best thing i can do now is really praying that i will get through this........
and i keep trying to ask blackberry/rim to block my device so this thief wont be able to use it/sell it......

im so desperate to make it true.....

YOU GOT OWNED IF YOU HAVE BLACKBERRY WITH THIS PIN: 215656BD

I just lost my blackberry 9700 at 313 somerset, singapore this afternoon....
I suspect 1 male in COTTON ON shop which was super crowded due to singapore's great sale..
I put my blackberry in my bag because the battery was running out 3% left when I turned it off...

I followed this man for quite some times, we even had eye contact several times and he was so nervous when i looked at him in the store...

he even SMILED at me and I knew it was a nervous kind of smile.

I followed him out of the store and he looked so panic....
he kept his hand in his front jeans pocket i guess to disguise n cover the blackberry shape which is quite bulky...
SO if you really get the blackberry bold 9700 with this pin number, just to let you know that you have a stolen blackberry and if you really want to give it back to me, it's a pleasurable and noble thing you could have done for me....

I wish good luck for the thief who stole my blackberry this afternoon. hopefully you could have a good night sleep and safe and peace life throughout your life........
til death greets you.......... (:


with love,
the blackberry onyx owner with pin number 215656BD