timeless time.

it's kinda weird whenever i think that, you know, friends last forever?
but do they?
i mean, how should i put this......

it's like now, for example.
i graduated from school, ready to embrace so-called "earning and experiencing REAL life", life becomes so dull
it feels like i've been losing so many friends along the way, along the journey
well not literary.
but it just feels like it?
I wonder if it's like this for every person or is it just me?

some of my buddies are busy with school, some are busy with work, some are busy i don't know what they're doing, some are just disappeared.
weird isn't it?

how back then we used to hang out together because we were bounded by certain common.
for example, first year of uni, we spent our times together because we wanted to share our stories and experiences in our different places.
we were bounded by it.

and now some are still in school, some are just graduated, some are working, and some are just plain jobless-busyless (yea my own word) like me HAHAHAHAHHAHA
now it feels like i laugh pathetically bout myself for being busyless.
geez

and now life feels so dull, well not fully dull, but it's just dull.
dull in a way that i can't just call a friend and ask them to hang out with me right away, i mean i should at least "book" them couple days/weeks/months prior to the event wth.
then other thing is that, i myself is free all the time, but not with the rest of my friends

and now i spent 4 years abroad, away from almost every friend i have - let's say i was "isolated" in a way that i separated from them whom i usually befriend with - and now i am back to my hometown, it feels like i'm some kind of alien

i barely know what's happening here
what's happening with my friends, my best friends
i feel like i am totally alienated by...........myself?????
):

yes i'm writing this as a form of protest, but whom am i protesting?
what am i protesting?
while along the journey i was alone - with new buddies abroad - whom i don't find them here in my hometown, none of them are here
so who am i shouting at?
nobody.
i simply shouting in my own mind, silently.

almost frustrated, no-not yet.
almost gone mad, i don't think i'm capable of.
angry, no don't think so.
sad, probably.
pathetic about myself, begin to.

i literary want to scratch wall due to this madness..... well i probably should do that, hoping that it'd ease the anxiety HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

maybe i simply am lonely ):
maybe i simply miss my friends, my best friends the most
maybe i simply miss hanging out with people who used to be there for me
maybe i simply am losing the presence of friendship
maybe i simply want to share laughter again
maybe i just want to laugh happily with them again

and maybe, i should stop being so pathetic bout myself
maybe i should go watch the last airbender tonight, yes maybe.......
maybe i should do things i want to do now, put aside these weird feelings
keep it until i meet my best friend, one by one i would love to knock their head with my knuckles and tell them how cruel and mean and bad they are right now to me! ):

that time of the year.

 

sick puppies that time of year mp3 | lyrics

free music downloads | music videos | pictures

Another year
has come and gone again
look around
and think where have you been
trace the lines
on your face tonight
and don't forget
that this will pass in time

It's cold out this morning
you should be getting into bed
can't believe its that time
of year again

Curled up tight
a darker shade of white
thinking back could be
here for a while

Its cold out this morning
and it's getting harder to pretend
can't believe it's that
time of year again

Can you believe the life you led?
did you achieve the goals you set?
did you lose your mind?
now and then

Is there a reason you won't mend?
it is a season that won't end
can't believe its that
time of year again

Another year
has come and gone again
look around
and wonder what happened

It's cold out this morning
you should be getting into bed
can't believe its that time
of year again

We're fresh out of warnings
maybe it's time you called a friend
forget that it's that time
of year again

Forget that it's that time
of year again

i've been loving this song ever since i heard it for the first time from ncis' clip on tv
but nonetheless i was just up to search for the lyric just today hahahahahahahahhaa
and mannn.... the lyric is awesome
though it's about something deals with depression, i somehow can link it to a usual ordinary situation happens in anyone's life everyday (or shall i mean my own everyday life ever since i finished my study? hahaha)

for me everyday is not anymore a usual holiday i had back then when i was in school
i mean "holiday" when i had school breaks and went back to home country to ENJOY my free time
now on i am free everyday and it does not feel the same as i thought i would feel when i am free
it sucks

yep it sucks

everyday i wake up, go downstairs have a breakfast while watching tv, put the dirty dish and back on couch and watch tv all day long and all of sudden it's already late in the night where i should take a shower and back on couch and watch movie til it's bed time

though on the other day i sometimes hang out with friends or have some activities

but still, it sucks

like something is missing
there's no longer hectic mornings where i oversleep and late for school and i have to run to the bus stop
or where i run cross the traffic light to get a taxi for school

hahahaha oh boy i miss those moments i really do!

some people see school as a terrifying place, or just a place to get a degree or whatsoever
i don't think so seriously school is the best place on earth that you ever landed on
(okay minus all the bad things happened back then, all bullies, and other silly suck things happened, nevertheless school was fun!)
well at least, my school back the was a rock
fine arts faculty is the best thing i have ever done in my life, if i had not followed my passion, i would have not felt this way ever.. i don't think so

it's not about the degree that i pursued
it's not about the hectic days when deadlines for projects were so close
it's not about sleepless nights i had back then
it's not merely about friends and best friends
it's not only bout the lecturers
it's not about every opening nights we often had and attended with all wines and snacks and networkings
it's not about bloody projects
it's all about the memories and funs we had back then
it's priceless and treasurable

it's something that we can't undo
it's the essence of ever being in that time of the year, that will never disappear for the rest of my life

well btw speaking of school
last night i had dinner with davin at benton, we suddenly he suddenly craved for kfc chicken so we went there to grabbed a quite late dinner hahahaha
but it's kinda fun since we really seldom go to fast food restos and eat there
while we were eating, we were reminiscing some silly events and stuffs while we were in elementary school
which i suddenly jumped into an interesting idea.....

that do we people ever recognize that for our lives, we are always wanting to get as many networking as we can?
i mean i remembered back when i was in elementary school, the most trendiest thing we used to do is distributing a diary book to be filled by most of our friends
the idea is to get as many people write in that book as possible
then what's interesting is, i thought it's a form of social networking we have nowadays such as facebook!
imagine since we were super young and small we already dealt with this kind of social networking issues
well though back then it was limited as we only distributed the diary book among our classmates in school, or if you were lucky and popular enough you could get students from other school(s) to write in it, though it would not make sense since people would easily read everything you wrote in that book hahahahahha
because usually when we distributed the book to someone, we expected the book to be overnight in that someone's place, the idea is to give time for that person to write complex (so called) stuffs in that book or to paste some stickers in it to make the page cooler than the others(i guess it's like a present/gift you can send in facebook)

i wow myself with this finding HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH *smug*

well, i gotta go now, i'm super hungry and gonna grab some foods now
cya~

ariel - luna maya - cut tari

yea so i was signing in my msn this morning and while the msn today popped up i saw the latest news about these 3 celebs in indonesia

i was so WOW that it seems that the case becomes more complicated and publicized a lot more than when i was in indonesia a week back

some news say that a paparazzi was being hit by ariel's car, luna maya keeps quiet and refuses to have a conversation with public, farhat abbas as the chief of human rights insists the law to make these 3 celebs as main suspects but the other news says that he, as the CHIEF will give help to pardon these celebs to the public IF they claim that the videos are theirs
wtf?


I MEAN WTF??!!@$#$#$

seriously people..
what makes all of you whom judging them so pure and sinless that you have right to judge them like you do?
they are also humans and they have feelings just like you and me
have you ever pondered what would it feel like if you were them?
people are just wanting to have fun and be happy on top of others' problem, difficulties, and sadness

are you some kind of cold-hearted society or what?
seriously!

im not writing this to defend anyone..
im here to say what i think and what i feel about

i just dont think it's right when people judge these celebs just because they do something that IS NOT PLEASANT FOR YOU
or DISSAPOINT YOU

banyak ibu2 di indonesia klo lagi ada road show sinetron tertentu beneran cubitin dan pukulin pemeran antagonis nya..
gue rasa orang indonesia udah terlalu ga bisa memilah mana reality mana fiktif....
a lot of housewives in indonesia whom come to certain soap opera road show, they often pinch or hit the antagonist character in the movie as if they were really really bad in the reality as well
i think indonesians are too ignorant to see which is reality and which is fictional...
 
its so wth!

i just think sometimes public society and paparazzi are too ignorant to THINK
yes TO THINK
that celebrities are also human and they have flaws and sins and feelings just like we, you, i are

yes it is true that paparazzi needs them to make stories, money etc and so do the celebs
it's a mutual
YET sometimes paparazzi cross the border to far away that the celebs become nuts and mad about it and they begin to cross the line as well

for example

ariel's car hit the paparazzi until she cannot walk and she needs to be hospitalized
and then whom to blame?

if this particular paparazzi didnt cross the line and she could just be sympathize with ariel's condition and just spare his weary heart, this situation wouldnt be happened at all

RESPECT!

if i were ariel i would do the same thing as well..
seriously even if im not a public figure..
if someone keeps following me to just emphasize or drag me into the same mistake i did and to just publicize it, i'd just go mad and hit everyone in front of me..

it's human nature
it's just a way to escape, to defend ourselves
to protect one self

i feel sorry for these 3 celebs
and i hope people can slowly pardon them for what they did
because i know that it's not all 100% their own mistakes

this thing wouldn't happen at all if there's respect and LOVE among human race

i hope luna maya is and will be able to cope this situation and be strong and be tough!
cheer up girl! (:

(hey i used to not paying attention to her tho :D)

and for ariel, please go to the best and nearest psychiatric and get a remedy for your problem
stop making videos okay?

and please people...
stop judging them....
use your brain and heart to feel and get a better understanding with what they feel
they are human
they have flaws
they make mistake

if anyone of you out there pure and sinless enough, go ahead make a step, you can just shout that they are suspects and they are wrong and need to be punished severely

because i don't think it's fair for them to feel and get this kind of public punishment

but once again im not here to defend any party.
i just feel sorry for these 3 celebs and hope they are tough and strong enough to face this

IF I CAN DO IT, WHY CAN'T YOU?