i babble.

i don't know really why i am writing this current post right now
but i just know i somehow need to channel my stupid silly temper i have been struggling, dealing with lately
i know my temper has been so unstable that most of the time i hurt either myself or other people
it is like i need my solitary moment or ME moment i have been craving for since i don't really know when

okay i know it might sound silly but i do miss alone moment like when i was in sg
yeah it is like naturally human being, you never get satisfied with what you have
but really, should we, people, human beings need ALONE moment in our lives?

for me, i do think so
sometimes there are certain things that others cannot digest/absorb
that sometimes are even confusing ourselves, stressing us the hell out
that sometimes we need to be alone, in a quiet place where nothing as disturbance
and sit there do nothing
but our mind is working like hell
just to solve THAT CERTAIN THINGS.

well maybe it's just me, the weird and quirky me in handling certain things

but i need literary quiet moment in life
where i don't have to do anything, just lying or sitting
emptying my mind
just to be in a serene level

but i barely have it here
living in a house sometimes is a challenge
when you want to scream or cry out loud for God sake you can't do it even in your own home
at least i can't
it's either people in the house would think i'm nuts or they will start asking questions, in which i don't want to deal with when i am not in the OKAY mode
it's crazy to think about it
really
how can sometimes home is not the coziest place on earth
not even in your own bedroom
really....

well perhaps, in our own home, we are "forced" to act "normal"
the existence of family members sometimes is not the best solution to this kind of matter
it's like the more you are surrounded by people you know, the crazier things might be
and that is when all the stresses bundled and collided into one giant ball of stress

oh geez i forgot what i want to talk about in the first place LOL
this is really funny how my mind works lately
it's like i'm jumping into different lily pads at one time
it's like i'm losing control of my life, myself
lost!

oh anyway!
few days ago my right eye itch like crazy
well i thought it was sort of regular eye problem occur whenever i sit too long in front of laptop
but then voila! the next day i woke up, my right eye swollen like it was been stung by bee
hahahahahahaa...
it looked like i was punched by someone
but it hurt really bad so i decided to pay visit to doctor
which revealed that i had eye problem
the gland was blocked therefore it was swollen
the doc gave me 3 types of meds: eye drop, capsules, and ointment which i have to apply right in the inner side of eye lid (AAA! HORRIBLE!)

but now it is getting better
it just bothers me whenever i am wandering outside, the eyes are itchy and teary
sometimes hurt badly
but when i use specs they get better
but silly i can't be outside too long):
hahahaha
so i most of the time spend time at home do nothing but play game hahahha!

hope they recover realllll soon and healed completely